Tokyo

4th day in Tokyo already and leaving in 3 days time to Ho Chin Minh. Love Tokyo, very beautiful and quiet. Streets are very clean and neat, alot of beautiful and handsome people on the streets. Temperature for the past few days are between 19-23 degree, to Tokyo people it's cooling and just nice. To me, it's rather cold. I am already almost freezing every day here, not sure if I can stand the coldness in Shanghai in Nov. Think I will ask WL to prepare some gloves for me, will definetly love to meet him there.

Staying in Kurumi Mansion is okay, the room is rather small on top of the fact that I am sharing with 2 other guys.

I really need a long break when I return back to Singapore. Have not been sleeping enough and well since I left Singapore.

Wondering if anyone miss me back in Singapore...

Tokyo

Today is the last day I will be in Bangkok, be going to Tokyo next. 1130am taking the plane but can only reach at 930pm cause we will have to via Hong Kong first.

Not sure how cold Tokyo will be cause I don't have much clothings with me. Have to carry alot of work stuffs so limit my own personal stuffs.

It's already so cold in the hotel room, I think I will die in Tokyo. I see if I can survive in Tokyo or not then I know if I can make it in Shanghai.

Will update my blog again soon.

Today is the 3rd day of filming in Bangkok, and this is what's been happening to me so far.

14th: Reach company at 930am, leave at 11am. Reach Bangkok at 330pm. Reach hotel at 430pm. Leave for dinner at 530pm. Production meeting with Bangkok fixers at 730pm which the meeting ends at 1230am. Reach back hotel and by the time I slept is almost 2am.

15th: Call time at 6am, which I woke at 5am. Filming around Bangkok which the temperature is terrible and horrible. The traffic is scary and vehicles are going in opposite directions. Wrap at 11pm. By the time I slept after settling emails and claims, it's 1am.

16th: Woke at 5am for 6am call time again. Filming halfway, we got to stop cause the Thai princess come out of the palace. Filming wraps at almost 11pm again. Slept at almost 1am again.

17th: Woke 5am, set off 6am AGAIN. So tiring. Filming at a cafe this afternoon and happen to witness a peace protest which makes up of 1000 people. Lucky nothing happen. Wrap early today at 830pm, but don't know what time I get to sleep tonight. Lucky, call time for tomorrow is 7am instead, 1 hour later than the 3 days.

My experience so far in Bangkok is that there are some rules and tradition that I find it un-usual and I don't think I can mentally handle them. Listening to the Thai language is something that I am still getting used to it. No offence to anyone from Thai but I don't think I will be used to the life here.

1 more day and I will be in Tokyo.

Flying off

I be flying off and away from Singapore for 1 month in another 24 hours. Am starting to feel not so panic but still very stress and pressure that something might happen or works get screw up. As my mood and as I am letting myself feel more relax, an idoit or rather a fucking asshole who has no fucking manners has to make my blood pressure boil to the max.

As I have no luggage, mum pass me one that she took from the store room. Things put in the store room means its for the family right. I came out from the toilet and there he was yelling and barking like a mad dog, saying that why I never ask before I took or use. Fuck lar! If its so personal and out of bounds for anyone to use including your own family, then put everything in your own room! Don't leave it in the store room!

Anyway, I have never see or view her as part of my family. Never once, since the first day she step into the family.

Why do an asshole has to ruin my last night before I fly off? I don't own you anything! If you fucking hate or don't want to see me so much, say so! I am very glad to move out.

有些人读太多书到没教养和没文化。在这世界上是没有谁欠谁。醒醒吧王八蛋！

3 days to go

3 more days and I be flying to 5 countries for filming. It's getting more scary than excited. I am so unsure about alot of stuffs. I got more files and documents to pack than personal wardrobes and stuffs. I don't know how to pack. I don't know what will happen overseas. I am scare that I fall sick. I am scare of all the riots and Bangkok and Ho Chin Minh City.

I need alot of encouragement and supports. I am breaking apart very soon.

10 days to go

10 more days and I be flying off for 1 month. Things aren't looking any good and tasks have been snowball. All due to a reason that I don't wana mention here cause it will make my blood pressure to raise.

Have been meeting up with friends for dinner before I leave also. Filming in overseas can be very fast, and before I know it, I am back into Singapore. Will be looking for another project when I am back. So friends... I am available for new project in late Nov onwards.

18 more days

Counting down to the day I fly. I am only left with applying for the Visas and booking of lodgings. Bought the necessay stuffs including winter jacket and 2 track shoes, only left with seeing the doctor for injection.

I believe there are stuffs that I have not buy yet and I can't think of right now. Anyway, I will think and recall soon before I leave.

24 more days to go

Am so scared suddently and it's been 8 years since I last felf this way for a project. Still have alot of stuffs to settle before we can fly off to shoot.

This is scary man. I am afraid... for the first time after so many years... since MCS days... I think I am dying off already

Finally

I finally receive my pay from last project in full. Once the cheque is in my account, I got to clear all debts, bills and allowances to family before I decide what to get for my travelling with the remaining. Got to put aside a sum to use when overseas and also when I return back.

I can finally see lights in my wallet. Can concentrate in my works and of cos, looking for bf again. Hahahaha....

Help

I need help in handling Visa applications. I don't know how to apply for Visa and to make matter worse, I got a United Kingdom of Great Britain & Northern Ireland passport holder in my team. Why can't everyone be holding Singapore passport to make my job less troublesome?! Ahhhhh...... Anyone knows how to apply for Visa and the proceeder to it? I need help. I need advise.

35 more days

I just finish filming the Singapore episode for the travelogue, although it's very tiring and VERY short of manpower, it's been a great and new experience for me. As the AD, I help the crew also. I only have 2 men crew so everyone has to help one another. I carried alot of bags and equipments over my shoulder for 4 days, making my shoulders to ache so much. Although tiring, I went to Singapore Flyer, National Muesum of Singapore, River Cruise, Sri Mariamman Temple and New Majastic Hotel for the first time. Flyer, Cruise are nothing and rather boring after 10 mins. I don't mind going back to Muesum the second time and I know the place rather well already. It's like a maze inside. Temple is as usual temple, but I just can't stand the smell. I will love to stay in New Majastic Hotel one of these day, the hotel is very retro and I love the settings and furnitures.

I have 35 more days before I fly off to the other 5 countries for the travelogue. Bangkok, Ho Chi Minh City, Hong Kong, Shanghai and Tokyo... Here I come... Before that, I got to settle alot of stuffs and things... I will and need to chase back my payment from Big XXX next week, so that I can pay and buy whatever I need for the trip.

Anyway, did my team manage to "fight" for an additional grip to follow us for overseas filming? I hope we do, if not... haiz... how to survive for 5 countries...

New tasks

The current project I am doing is giving me cold sweats. Alot of new things that I never handed before like the Embassies, Visas, Fixers for overseas, Lodgings and transportations for overseas etc. Lucky, Vanessa helps me in some of it although I can still say I am doing it all alone.

This morning had locations recee with DOP and Director starting from 830am, by the time I reach home it's 5pm. Had a quick shower and redo my makeup and tried on afew clothes, before going to Eric Khoo's feature "My Magic". It's the first time I actually like Eric Khoo's movie after so many years. The story rather good and can relate to it. The casts are great, especially the one acting as the son.

Went to watch with Leslie and to my surprise, he acted inside also! As the magician's assistant and he had quite a number of appearances. So cute! So funny!

Watched "Kallang Roar" too. I don't really like the story but it's not bad for a new Director. However, I was rather disturb by the multi top shot and extreme close up and the habits of cutting off talents' forehead in single shots. I was amazed by the CSI--green screens effects they did and how it turn up. I mean, on the actual shoot, there was only 300 extras but the final product turns up, it's like they got 20,000 extras. That's something I must learn.

I just finish amending the callsheets for Sep 01-04 filming (again... haiz...). Done emailing those I got to for the shoot. Write out a lists of things I got to do for the shoot. Now, I am taking time out to update and vent abit of my thoughts in the blog. It's 310am now, got to wake up early tomorrow. Have to look for location and buy props, then come back and settle the rest of the stuffs.

I want to get my pay soon! Damn it! I really hate companies that delay pay, but it seems like a norm and common practise in Singapore to delay payment. That's not a good practise and it sucks! Those companies that delay payment, have they ever spare a thought for those freelancers who live on project basics? Freelancers already don't have CPF, and they still have to wait forever to get their payment?! When all companies start doing that, then everytime we work using our own savings.

I need the money to:
-settle debts
-buy clothes for overseas shoot
-pay parents allowance
-get new laptop before current one dies on me without warning
-settle the health and wellness issues
-get portable USB modem or something like that, so that I can connect to internet even when I am overseas
-get a printer fast

Damn it! So many things I want to do and so many things to pay. I want my pay!

Had chalet since Friday and got home this Morning at almost 9am. Damn tired cause never slept at all for the past 2 nights and had been eating bbq food for 2 nights.

My travelogue has been confirm of the countries and travel date. Be flying off on 12th Oct and be covering these 6 countries: Singapore (Ep1 of cos), Vietnam, Bangkok, Hong Kong, Shanghai and Tokyo.

I start officially with the production house in this project tomorrow at 10am. Have to settle the lodging, air tickets, sponsors, permits etc. Alot of things to do and time is running out. Only left with 2 months and 2 days. Telecast date is in Dec, another super tight budget and tight deadline project, but at least I get to travel out.

Wish me luck everyone.

New Project

Okay, it's official. I be taking the travelogue project, hope that I make the right choice in giving up the reality project. Actually, I am hoping to do both but I am just afraid that my schedules will crash. I be talking to the reality project boss again and discuss futher but I am defintely not going to give up the travelogue project.

Went for the REM wrap party last Friday, was quite nice though I find it abit boring cause there isn't much interactions for everyone. It's like everyone has their own group to gather. Afew got high and drunk.

Anyway, back to the travelogue... I am rather excited and hope that I can perform my duties. This is the first time I be doing a travelogue, so I am hoping for assistants and help from friends and company people. I can only confirm which countries I be actually be going after the official production meeting, but I can be sure that I will be the only female in the whole team that be travelling. DOP, Soundman, Host, Director and me (Producer).

Alot of things got to be done out and approve. The visa, equipments, people, transports, stay etc. I will rest and be fully charged for the next few days before I go full force again.

I miss him... He will be going oversea for project soon, although it's only afew days. After he comes back, I might be busy with my travelogues...

Will updates on the countries and when I be setting off. Might be away for a month or so. I got to take my injection soon and eat more healthy before travel starts.

Decision making time again

It's time to crack my mind and make decision again. Been to afew production houses and went through their projects, there are 2 projects that interest me. However, both projects are going to take place at the same time.

Project A: as Producer, filming starts in either late Aug or early Sept. This project entitles me to travel out of S'pore and to HK, Shanghai, Malaysia, Thailand, Indonesia, Philippines, Indian, Japan etc to name afew. It's the traveling that interests me alot, but pay isn't that good.

Project B: as Project Manager, filming starts 16th Aug. It's all film in local but a reality show. Rather challenging to do but I don't really like the concept or rather the game that's to be play. Pay of course, isn't good also.

Haiz... Which project should I do? Or should I do both? But I am afraid that for the period I will not be in S'pore, there other project needs me, then how?

Going to R.E.M wrap party soon. I will think about it over the weekend and give them an answer on Mon.

Aiya, another production company I still have not go and discuss the project with them yet. However, that project doesn't interest me much, an info-tertainment in Mandarin. The only takes is that I always hope to work with the boss himself.

Thinking time again. Have been resting for 10 days already, it's time to start the ball rolling and get the energy level back again.

New Direction In Life

Attended another meaningful "talk" today. Why I say "talk" cause its not the usual MML or direct sales stuffs. This new trade will change my life and I really want to and hope to achieve some success in it. Everyone is part of the family and the warm is there, although I have not really warm up yet cause they are not my usual group of people.

Don't really want to say too much. Just hope that friends will find the change in me in afew months time, should I have the determination to stay in it like how I stay in Media.

Another wrap

REM has wrap! Yap! So happy! After continuous filming from 16th-21st, beside filming there are overnight stay in office doing props, the drama finally wrap. Went dinner with afew bottles of beer alone with dinner after filming. It's so great to just relax and not worry and bother about next day filming and props.

Great and wonderful team and casts I have. Thanks for all the help and assistant and bearing with my terrible mood swings and loud voice.

Team: Kai Li (for agreeing to be in the project last minute under such super low rate and working so hard), Alvin and Aaron

Crew: Jason (although we do have disagreement and argue sometimes, thanks for been supportive in some of my ideals), Leslie (always been so very helpful and manage to cheer me up when I am feeling super down), Arnold and Siva (for the rides home).

Casts: Ming, Jamie and Jerilyn (these 3 gals are so beautiful, talented and nice although they can be very noisy when place together).

Okay, I be resting a awhile before I start working again. Going for afew companies to talk about other projects on Wed. Then be concentrating on the business, want to stay focus in it. Have to talk to Donovan and discuss about it which actually he has been asking me alot of times when I be free to discuss. BUT first stop, I want to go for a short trip before I start to "run" full force again.

New Life

Starting tomorrow, 14th July, I will work non-stop and will film non-stop until 21st July. I just hope that I can pull everything through and will end the project with a bang. Okay, not really a bang but at least end smooth with good reputations.

Really wana thank Kai Li for joining into this project and helping me pull through. She really help me alot and I mean ALOT.

After project ends, I will rest for awhile and really think about what I want to do. Donovan suggestions isn't bad and I will consider doing his business. Seeing how successful his business turn up and how much he earns, really make me wonder what am I doing here. Current career gives me satisfations but the income isn't stable and coming in. Although I only just half way start Don's business, but I do see the money coming in and the wonder of it.

I be giving myself half a year to 1 year to do the business and see how far I can go from there. If business is good, then media will be my sidelines and passions only.

Heard a good news from a friend and I am really happy for her. I can't say much here until the whole thing is confirm and announce.

I need to work hard be it in my career, money, relationships... I need to re-charge and take a break...

Been working non-stop for the past few days, actually since 27 May. Rather tiring and still trying to hang on there.

Got blue-black over me, sprain my leg, mosqito bites...

5 more episodes to go. Hanging on there.

Birthday feelings

The whole of my birthday was spent filming. The day started from 830am and end at 12am. I didn't even get to celebrate and do anything relaxing or I like. There goes my 29 birthday.

The day before my birthday, I went wushu guang. Chat with Yan Bin and Wang Liang, Wang Liang gave me my very first birthday gift.

Then halfway through filming on Sat, the casts gave me surprise. Then I ate my first birthday cake and got my first balloon as gift.

Just hope that everything goes well and smooth for current project.

好难过

4 more days to my birthday, I am not happy nor excited at all. Not feeling very happy with myself and hate myself alot. Beside the point that I got into the project half way its production, I got alot of things to catch up on. Feel that I am getting old, mentally and physically I can stand it anymore. I had a hard time catching up and remembering stuffs. I really hate myself. I am not performing my usual self. This project is so rush and to make it worse, I got 2 PA, Fatila is great. She is hanging on there. However, the 2nd PA is always quitting. The gal quit cos she felt that production isn't for her, then the replacement guy quit cos he said his family don't support him. I find that its rather "crap" cos if you have all this "reasons", don't take up the project in the first place.

Damn shit. I feel very shitty.

Birthday in 13 days time, nothing achieve in my previous blog entre. Be very busy from tomorrow onwards to mid July with currently project. Currently project is very rush and it's practically leaving the team with no time to rest at all. Either we are filming or we are doing pre-production.

Am hoping and wishing that everything will turn up fine and okay for this project. Can't afford any hipcups at all.

Bless me my friends.

Birthday coming in 19 days time, on 7th June. Wonder if anyone remembers or rather will anyone celebrate for me. Might be working on that day, cos it's a weekend. Not bad, I got the whole production team, crew and casts to be with me. Hahaha... Better not over-run that day, cos I don't wish to be "dead" on my birthday.

Birthday wishlist:
-Hoping that I will have a boyfriend who will be with me
-Health to improve
-More income coming in
-Great career ahead
-Colour printer
-Take up more courses
-Go on a trip

Going to start another mad round of drama on Tuesday onwards. A position that I don't want to be in but I am there to "save" the whole project or rather the production team, as quoted by the DOP. Hahahaha... not sure if I can do anything or be on form again but as everyone knows me, I will do my 100%. Hahahahaha.....

I have been having a series of mood swings and depressions lately. Due to certain issues, I am rather dissapointed and upsets. Oh well, it's over I should move on. Until I manage to get another project, I don't think I can don't let my mind wander too much.

Have been sending resumes to event companies and record companies. Hope to get a reply soon this week, then I can start working again next week.

Should I go back to production? Be out on shoot again? Be involve in low budget dramas again? I don't know anymore, I need to think about it. If just doing PM duties, I might consider. Cos I think I want to rest from all those filming days, those rushing under the sun days.

Waiting for Mark to come back and then I got to talk to the crew about certain issue. Issue that I have never talk about since I join the industry. Issue that I don't know how to really settle and "communicate".

I went to pray for marriage to 月老, hope that I can find someone soon. But guess it's difficult also lar, when I am not working, I am always at home. Never go out, never take part in any activities, never went to any function or event.

Haiz... It's all boil down to fate again. Hope that everything will go well for my work and relationship.

Terrible like hell

Just took out the wisdom teeth, feeling worse now. Am hungry but can't eat, cos I am dripping water from mouth. Then my left side, which the teeth was taken out, hurts like hell. It hurts so much that my head hurts, my mouth hurts, my eye hurts. All on the left side. I can't swallow properly, can't speak properly. I just vent my anger and fustration and everything by crying just now. But crying doesn't help, its hurts more. Shit!

Feeling terrible

Feeling terrible these days, actually weeks. Having toothache on my right side for days, can't eat and sleep well. Last night it starts to get worse, I can't sleep at all. Then this morning, mum bought me wantan mee before I went to my grandma side for her x-tray at TTS. Can't really eat, have to force my mouth to open and force the food down my throat. Be going to see the dentist at 730pm later. Hope its nothing serious.

Filming isn't going too smoothly also. Haiz. Oh well, no filming is smooth anyway. Thanks to casts and crew support, if not I think I am going to break down soon. I have not been at the best of health lately and been having sleepless nights, I am getting old, physically and mentally is tearing apart.

I really am going to take a break after current project ends, either going to study short courses or holiday.

Songs on my mind at tis moment

如果有一天 - 梁靜茹
曲︰郭文賢 詞︰易齊

現在也只能欣賞　唯一的合照一張
淡忘了的是那個街角
想念的是當時的微笑

生活中交錯失望　越想念就越孤單
若再被寂寞迎頭趕上 多感傷原來只是正常

你是不是也在品嚐 一個人的咖啡和天光
是不是也忽然察覺到 多出時間看天色的變換

如果有一天　我們再見面
時間會不會倒退一點
也許我們都忽略
互相傷害之外的感覺

如果哪一天　我們都發現
好聚好散不過是種遮掩
如果我們沒發現 就給彼此多一點時間

別問我是誰 - 王馨平
曲︰蔡議樟 詞︰蔡議樟 編︰屠穎

從沒說過愛著誰　為誰而憔悴
從來沒有想過對不對
我的眼中裝滿疲憊
面對自己總覺得好累

我也需要人來陪　不讓我心碎
讓我愛到深處不後悔
其實我並不像他們說的
那樣多刺　難以安慰

愛人的心應該沒有罪
為何在夜裡卻一再流淚
每天抱著寂寞入睡
生活過得沒有滋味

別問我是誰　請與我相戀
我的真心沒人能夠體會
像我這樣的人不多
為何還要讓我難過

別問我是誰　請和我面對
看看我的眼角留下的淚
我和你並沒有不同
但我的心更容易破碎

What Cherlyn Tan PeiSan Means

You are very open. You communicate well, and you connect with other people easily.You are a naturally creative person. Ideas just flow from your mind.A true chameleon, you are many things at different points in your life. You are very adaptable.

You are truly an original person. You have amazing ideas, and the power to carry them out.Success comes rather easily for you... especially in business and academia.Some people find you to be selfish and a bit overbearing. You're a strong person.

You are friendly, charming, and warm. You get along with almost everyone.You work hard not to rock the boat. Your easy going attitude brings people together.At times, you can be a little flaky and irresponsible. But for the important things, you pull it together.

You are wild, crazy, and a huge rebel. You're always up to something.You have a ton of energy, and most people can't handle you. You're very intense.You definitely are a handful, and you're likely to get in trouble. But your kind of trouble is a lot of fun.

You are relaxed, chill, and very likely to go with the flow.You are light hearted and accepting. You don't get worked up easily.Well adjusted and incredibly happy, many people wonder what your secret to life is.

You are a free spirit, and you resent anyone who tries to fence you in.You are unpredictable, adventurous, and always a little surprising.You may miss out by not settling down, but you're too busy having fun to care.

You are very intuitive and wise. You understand the world better than most people.You also have a very active imagination. You often get carried away with your thoughts.You are prone to a little paranoia and jealousy. You sometimes go overboard in interpreting signals.

You are a seeker. You often find yourself restless - and you have a lot of questions about life.You tend to travel often, to fairly random locations. You're most comfortable when you're far away from home.You are quite passionate and easily tempted. Your impulses sometimes get you into trouble.

You are usually the best at everything ... you strive for perfection. You are confident, authoritative, and aggressive. You have the classic "Type A" personality.

You are influential and persuasive. You tend to have a lot of power over people.Generally, you use your powers for good. You excel at solving other people's problems.Occasionally, you do get a little selfish and persuade people to do things that are only in your interest.

You tend to be pretty tightly wound. It's easy to get you excited... which can be a good or bad thing.You have a lot of enthusiasm, but it fades rather quickly. You don't stick with any one thing for very long.You have the drive to accomplish a lot in a short amount of time. Your biggest problem is making sure you finish the projects you start.

You are the total package - suave, sexy, smart, and strong.You have the whole world under your spell, and you can influence almost everyone you know.You don't always resist your urges to crush the weak. Just remember, they don't have as much going for them as you do.

Life has been a a circle lately; work, rest, film. Nothing much happen, never been out with friends, staying home on off days. Been visiting my grandma, bought her stuffs and food that she requests.

Filming has not been smooth and I did more than my job duties, which alot of industry people told me that I shouldn't. "Don't spoilt the market lar Cherlyn", I wish I can just do my duties but I find it hard to say to my bosses. I will try okay, I will.

I just hope that it don't rain on the filming days and that everyone are on the "ball" on set.

Am dreaming of holidays again. God! When can I truly and really leave Singapore? Someone please save me.

Him=him?

My friends actually say that 苗桥伟looks like Don. I think I still miss Don so much that I like the actor or is it that I like the actor so much that I like Don? I don't know, only knows that I miss Don alot. He always say that he will ask me out, he will call me, but I wait and wait and he never calls. I am so sad and heartbreak. My life is so meaningless.

Do they look alike?

Charming

Am chasing on a new HK drama recently, which is ending soon on SCV. 赌场风云, my most favourite actor inside is 苗侨伟 Michael Miu .

个人档案

华文名称:苗侨伟

英文名称：Michael Miu Kiu Wai

昵称：阿苗

生日：1958年6月18日

星座：双子座 SAME AS ME!!!!

身高：180cm MY DREAM MAN HEIGHT

体重：70-80kg GREAT WEIGHT TO MATCH THE HEIGHT

血型：O SAME AS ME!!!!

学历：香岛中学毕业

婚姻状况：已婚，一子一女 DISAPPOINTED

最喜欢的运动：高尔夫球等

最喜欢的颜色：白色 SAME AS ME!!!!

最喜欢的零食：大闸蟹、牛肉 SAME SAME!!!!

最喜欢的歌手：邓丽君、甄妮

嗜好：运动

籍贯：浙江宁波

He is so charming, handsome, man!!!! AHHHH!!!! He is my type of man lor.

See! So handsome! Ah! I faint liao.

I am very happy and glad today. Bought my very 1st digital camera. I know I sound rather silly and I am 29 years old already, but I was a struggling freelancer for years and I finally can afford to buy the things I like and want. Panasonic F55 Lumix in redish, rouge colour, $499/nett. The feeling is the same when I first bought my LG portable DVD player. Next is a laptop, budget is less than $2k.

Mum cooking dinner now, be having campbell soup, sandwiches and MY FAVOURITE -- MUSSELS.

Lalalalala...

Monday onwards, be very busy with drama. Have to do alot of stuffs, Saturaday will be the first day filming. Alot of things to be confirm.

Am glad that the operation went well and smooth for my granny. She did the operation at 630pm and it was done at 10pm. Going to visit her later. During the course of granny's stay in the hospital, I don't know scolded how many nurses and called how many times. Which the last time I canlled the hospital last night, the nurse recognise my voice and even know who I am.

Its a government hospital but they still don't have a system yet. They are still so dis-organise. Oh well... granny going to be transfer to Bright Visions Hospital to stay soon. I believe everything will be better there, cos I went there for filming before and the nurses are all very friendly.

Updates

Been awhile since I last blog, nothing much to update. Done helping with Kallang Roar, moved in and rather settled down in new office which only takes me less than half an hour to travel.

Grandma had a fall and she is now in hospital. Her right hip bone came off, might or might not have operation. We are still waiting for the doctor's answer. From TTS, she will be moving on to Bright Vision Hospital to stay till she recovers.

Felt rather sad about it.

Current project got push back to 2 weeks.

Kallang Roar The Movie

Went for a briefing for Kallang Roar The Movie today at 430pm. Agreed to help Kai Li in her 1st movie where she is the Project Manager. So happy for her, my 小妹 very 1st movie. She did a great job I can proudly say. I find that she is doing a even better job than me, I will sucks at it should I do it. She handle it rather well and she did a great job in briefing and organising.

Will be helping her on 29th Feb (430pm-1am) and 1st March (5pm-3am). I even manage to get Jeremy to help on 29th, waiting for Victor to agree to help up also. Got my younger brother to work also as one of the usher. A chance to let him knows all the hard works that we have to put in in order to make a good show.

So, I will be rather pack next week. Mon got to start to pack and tidy stuffs to move to new office. 27th and 28th will be moving office days. Then 29th morning, have to tidy new office and then go over to Kai Li's shoot.

Oh ya! 1st March, there be a press confrence for Kallang Roar The Movie. Rather excited about it. Hope that my brother, Victor and me can manage to attend.

KALLANG ROAR THE MOVIE SHOULD BE OUT IN THE CINEMA IN AUGUST. PLEASE DO SHOW YOUR SUPPORT.

Updates

Been sometimes since I last blog, nothing much to update and blog about. Straight after Chinese New Year break, the new intern reports to work. So far, she has not shown me anything yet for the new project, so not sure how far and what she can do. At least I don't have to go MediaCorp again to hand in tapes.

I am more relax now, with the intern finding sponsors and locations. Then the AD doing the master rundowns and locations breakdowns. I just have to concentrate on the auditions and schedules for filming.

Going to play pool tonight with my AD. At least something to do instead of just going home straight after work everyday.

Moving office on 27th and 28th, last day at old office on 28th.

Manjong

I am finally doing something fun yesterday, for the festive seasons. Met up with Victor and Jeremy at 3pm for KTV, after which went to Jeremy's house and collect the car. Together we travelled down to Choa Chu Kang, Jeremy's friend's house. Left rather quick, cos the 3 of us had to go over to Gillian's house.

At Gillian's house, at first we watch afew short films by Jeremy and Gillian. After that, I got drag into playing manjong. After afew games, and having a great tutor--Sharon Wong, I decided that I STILL DON"T LIKE MANJONG. Hahahaha.....

Now, am waiting for Jeremy to come fetch me to go Michael's house.

Happy Chinese New Year

Happy Chinese New Year to anyone who read this.

This year has been a rather boring festive seasons for ma again.

1st day: relatives came over, played blackjack then the adults play manjong after that.
2nd day: TODAY. Went to grandma's house, which this time I have to give red packets, cos parents say that I am earning now, and grandma side all not working. Then went to a relative's house. Now, my father side relative came over and play manjong.
Tomorrow: should be doing nothing. Might or might not join Jason and Weiming at night.
Sunday: going to Michael's house for visiting at 2pm.

Start work on Monday liao. Like not rest enough ler. Cos these few days also got to wake up early. Got to work on full force when Monday starts, new drama starting really soon in March. Alot to be done. Bless me my friends.

What's Your Personality Type?

You Are An ISFP

The Artist
You are a gifted artist or musician (though your talents may be dormant right now).You enjoy spending your free time in nature, and you are good with animals and children.Simply put, you enjoy beauty in all its forms and live for the simple pleasures in life.Gentle, sensitive, and compassionate - you are good at recognizing people's unspoken needs.

In love, you are quiet and sweet yet very passionate. You love easily.You have an underlying love for all living things, and it's easy for you to accept someone into your heart.

At work, you do best in an unconventional position. You express yourself well and can work with almost anyone.You would make a good veterinarian, pediatrician, or composer.

How you see yourself: Sympathetic, kind, and communicative

When other people don't get you, they see you as: Incompetent, insecure, and overly sensitive

谈恋爱

我好想谈恋爱啊！已经很久没有恋爱的感觉了，不知道下一个他什么时候会出现。

为什么会这样？

我又哭了。到底发生了什么事？我疯了！已经分手了一年七个月，可是我还是很想他。想知道他现在到底过的好不好，现在变得什么样子，是胖了还是瘦了，现在做什么公，是否还是喜欢吃同样的食物，是否还是喜欢听那首歌，是否还是喜欢穿那件衣服，是否。。。

我真的很累，我想他想的好累，我不知道还要这样到什么时候。好讨厌这样的自己，这样的我。朋友都说我会找到一个更好的，可是我还要等到什么时候？等多久？我只是一个普通的女人，只想找个人来爱，来疼。

这样的等待是个折磨，是很痛苦。我的心在流血，已经慢慢没感觉了。我的泪已经满的可以装满一个杯了。我好无力。真的好想死去，一了百了。

What's up

Nothing much to update here. Still got alot more to do.

1. Auditions: still not found yet. Dying soon. Project starting in March, I need my casts! 加油！
2. Locations: nothing is done, except that we can mock up 2 locations at the new office and 1 location at Michael's house (again).
3. Sponsorships: Got only 2 confirm, still have alot more to find. Shit! Double shit!
4. Post for Mindy: only submitted up to Ep5, still have 8 more episodes to go. Die lar! Tomorrow airing Ep4 liao, need to do first!
5. Transfering copies in beta and VHS for Mandy: Should be able to settle that. It's not so much of hurry, lucky. Thanks Piao for understanding and been there when I screw up.

Just finish doing the payment for Mindy project crew, talents, extras etc.

Personal things to do:

• I need to tidy up my room this weekend, damn messy and I found ants on my desk. Not a good thing to see and discover, parents killing me soon. Can not let them know (hee hee).
• Buy new year clothes, shoes, bags, bedsheets etc
• Top up my FANCL products
• Rebonding: hair getting out of control
• Facial: need to destory my blackheads, can't stand it anymore
• Dental: need to do check up and go for polishing. Too yellow from all the smoking and drinking

I need my payment for last year soon, if not I can never do the things I want. Reach home at around 11pm plus today after helping Mary Ann with her audition recordings. The studio we went to at Millian Walk sucks! The services are bad, they are so fucking rude. Ban that place. Ellery came and help. After filming at the studio, we went to Mary Ann's house to record another piece. Went to eat dinner at Clementi, Botak Jones, really nice food and rather cheap considering the place is at coffee shop. After eating and bitching, went back to office and transfer tapes, this time Ellery did ALL the works cos I sucks at FCP. I really need to learn more about equipments and editing, all those technicial stuffs lar.

Yawn! 2:03am now, slept at almost 4am yesterday and woke at 11:45am. Eyes can not focus and open liao. Good night!

Fulfilled? No Changes?

It's Sunday today, another wekend has pass. Never did anything much, nothing much happen.

Friday after work, went to attend Jeremy's short film. Had dinner with Kai Li (art diretor for the short film). Victor (PA and cast for the short film) and Meihui before going to the screening. After the screening, went to drink beer with Jeremy, Bryan and Victor which only Victor and I drank. Jeremy and Bryan left early, leaving only me and Victor to continue to drink. Jeremy said my blog is always so depressing, so sorry, I don't know how to be happy and most important, I don't have any happy things or events to write about.

Sat night went to my auntie's wedding anniversay. Nothing much again.

作人真无趣，好闷啊！在电视上看和听到康康专辑里的这首歌，觉得很适合我，很喜欢。请大家到这个网站听一听，可能你也和我一样爱上这首歌。
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DF_K6LmQQco&feature=related Please watch from timecode 00:58 onwards

歌词是这么唱的：

你眼睛會笑　彎成一道橋　終點卻是我　永遠到不了 感覺你來到　是風的呼嘯　思念像苦藥　竟如此難熬 每分　每秒　我找不到　我到不了　你所謂的將來的美好 我什麼都不要知不知道　若你懂我　這一秒　我想看到 我在尋找　那所謂的愛情的美好　我緊緊的依靠 緊謹守牢　不敢漏掉　一絲一毫　願你看到

Moving on

Another new week, moving on to a new project. Have to start doing pre-productions for the new project, which am aiming to start filming in March. Telecast in June, so time line is very tight again. This Friday got to attend Jeremy's short film screening, then this Saturday got to attend my auntie's wedding aniversary chalet. Must collect my contact lens this week.

New Project:

1. Finish up 13 episodes of Master Rundowns and Locations Breakdowns
2. Start the round of auditons
3. Interviewing of interns starts tomorrow

Current Projects:

1. Continue with the post-productions stuffs and delivery (Hate that, but still have to do it).

Company might be moving to a new venue, unsure where. Gosh! The moving of everything in current office will be tiring cos there are alot of stuffs, with all those machines, equipments etc. I want to go holiday, I want to have a break, I want my payment (most important).

Black week

God! It has been a black week since Mon until today. I have not been sleeping since Mon, 9am. The final episode of the English Kids drama has been a problem and until now we are still solving it. The telecast date is this Sun! God! Fainting! Going to have heartache very soon. Have been keeping myself awake by

1. Brainwashing myself
2. Drinking alot alot of red bull and tea and coke

Don't know how long more I can hold on. Thought I can sleep early tonight but... sharks! Things have to happen and don't know what time I can sleep liao.

Aim to be home by 12am wth editor. *Cross Fingers*

In loving memory of Jimmy Nah - MC King

Singapore celebrity, Jimmy Nah, dead at 40Posted

SINGAPORE: Singapore celebrity Jimmy Nah, who is better known as MC King, has passed away suddenly. He was 40 years old. His friends told MediaCorp Radio that Jimmy had experienced breathing difficulties while at home earlier Friday. He was sent to hospital but died shortly after 1pm. It is not known if Jimmy had suffered from any health problems. But in the last entry he posted on his blog on 31 December, Jimmy had hoped for good health in the coming year. Local director Jack Neo, who had worked with Jimmy on several productions, said he was shocked upon hearing the news. "All along, he's very, very healthy. So, I don't know why. I seriously don't know why," said Jack Neo. Jimmy had acted in a couple of local movies, including Neo's "Just Follow Law", as well as local drama serials. - 938LIVE.

Life is really very fragile. Received this news while working in office. He is still so young and talented. I worked with him in afew projects, rather nice guy and friendly. Only 40 but god has to take him away. Maybe god had other plans for him in the other world.

Rest In Peace Jimmy.

Treasure those around you, my friends.

Sick

Been sick for 2 days already, with the flu, cough, sore throat and fever, I am feeling very weak and restless. Never report to work today cos I can't make, but will be dragging myself to the pole dance class later. Got to sweat it up and do work up. Will feel worse is I still at home the whole day doing nothing beside sleeping.

Tomorrow filming sort of cancel, still have filming for 1 re-enactment but without any crew. Guess I will be doing camera works, cos only have me, Michael and Meihui on set. Rather tired. I got to make plans and wishes for 2008, which I hope that they will come true and I can do them.

1. Go overseas for projects, get out of Singapore
2. Get new mobile, cos current one is driving me crazy
3. Get a digital camera
4. Get a laptop with everything install
5. Get new heels
6. Get proper bag for non-working purposes
7. Get better in health
8. Earn more money
9. Get new printer at home
10. Get a proper working desk at home
11. Go for hair remove
12. Rebonding before Chinese New Year
13. Study part-time cos on Media
14. FIND SOMEONE WHO LOVES ME AND I LOVE HIM. HOPEFULLY THE MR RIGHT WILL BE MY LAST BOYFRIEND AND WE WILL GET MARRIED AND LIVE HAPPILY EVER AFTER
15. Write and direct my own short film
16. GO FOR A HOLIDAY SOON. HONG KONG / TAIWAN

That's all I can think of right now. My headache is killing me. I am dying soon.

2008

It's 2008, happy new year to everyone. I got my first present at exactly 12 am the moment everyone starts saying "Happy New Year". I got flu and sore throat. Now my throat is hurting like hell.

What's so great about 2008? It's just another year past with another year ahead. Nothing great. My wish never come true. 2008 it's nothing great really. Still have to keep on working and working. I still don't like every moment of my life.

2008 soon

2 more days to the end of 2007. I felt that I did not achieve much. I don't feel happy at all in 2007, so I am not looking forward to 2008. Have been filming for the past few days, will be filming on 30th and 31st also. Not sure of celebrating or having any countdown. Have been feeling very down and depress lately. The only thing I can say that I should be proud of myself should be that I am more focus in Directing and Project Manager positions. I still hate myself.

HoHoHoHo...

It's X'mas eve tomorrow and I guess I be all alone. No one has invited me, which they all have to be with their other half. Working tomorrow, then after that I guess I will go straight home and hide myself.

What to do. No choice. Not pretty. Not popular. Not famous. Not thick-skinned enough to force myself to join their couple time.

I REALLY HATE X'MAS!

I HATE BEEN ALONE!

I WISH I AM DEAD!

I HATE MYSELF!

I AM DEPRESS!

I AM SAD!

DEAD!

Merry X'mas

3 more day to X'mas, another lonely festive season to spend. I shouldn't be thinking about it at all. I have things to do.

1. Sort out company working schedules fast and make it workable. Spend half a day doing it, but got rejected by the boss. Re-do.
2. Make sure all scenes are done by Dec
3. Post for 2 projects and 1 more project (final episode) for DF got to be done. No hipcups please
4. Make sure I receive my final payment from DF, although it's only $400, better than nothing
5. Crew and talents payment to be settle
6. Hoping to do another rebonding soon
7. Got to service my stupid handphone that off by itself
8. Hoping to get my very own personal laptop soon

What else? I really don't know. It's 214am and I can't sleep at all. So bored! Starting pole dance level 2 on 2nd Jan at 8pm. At least there's something for me to do and spend my time in. Got to start reading those 3 novels I bought ages ago. No motivation to read cos it's rather boring, lucky I bought it at only 3 for $2. Not so heartache.

X'mas coming

8 more days to X'mas and I am so aimless in my love life. I HATE CHRISMAS! It's a seasons of love and hugging around. I have been lonely for some many X'mas years, and I got to spend it alone again this year.

I REALLY TRUELY HATE X'MAS

Golden Horse Award 2007

Watched Golden Horse Award 2007, the 2 awards I been waiting the whole night, rescults out. Best Orginial script - Xue Ying never get it.
Best Male Actor - Gurmit Singh lost to Tony.
The rescults are rather expected but was hoping for miracle. Oh well, will be seeing Michael and xue Ying on Tue. I can be at least proud to say that I am working the writer who was normainted. I am proud to say that I worked with Gurmit and Xue Ying before, which means that their price has increase because of this.
Mon another day of filming, pray hard that I can finish all scenes and don't over-run too much. Then next week, I have to do Mandy Ep9 TX post stuff. Be back in Dream Forest again to settle music cue-sheet and final transcript (with the help of Tim)
Lalalala... Then I see when the 2 bosses finally come back, what they want me to do. Not filming for Mindy, then see what I can do for the post for Mindy and Taoshu.

Never easy

It's never easy been a Director, especially when you are the Project Manager also. At a certain point, I don't even find that my ADs are helping much but I know that they are trying their best. "They are still new and fresh". This is what I always tell myself before I want to yell at the or do anything bad. I was new and fresh once too and I still make mistakes even up till today.

It wasn't an easy day of shoot today but thanks to the support I got from my crew, I manage to shoot everything (I hope) today.

I need to re-think about what position I want to do again. I can't be an Assistant Director forever. Position I got to consider are Project Manager (I got to learn how to handle the budget and network), Floor Manager (rather boring), Crew (learn more about camera works, lighting, sound), Stunts double (which I can't do forever and I will need to practise more on my moves), Director (need to read up on more filming books and watch more hollywood old movies).

Due to this project, I know new crew and understand my crew better. Mark - very nice guy who is always willing to help everyone. Akhbar - funny guy who never fails to make me laugh and can handle all the lighting by himself. Bob - great person although I have not work with him when I direct. Harold - friendly old man who never fails to speak his mind. Jason Yun - the youngest of the crew, always coming to me for advise.

It' s late now, got to sleep. Woke at 7am, filming from 9am-930pm. Very tired. Today is another day I Director cum AD cum abit of crew.

Strive on

Today is my official first day of shoot as Director. Finally! I directed the whole entire day today and without anyone beside me to guide me and assist me. Although I started the first scene over-run, I am glad that I made it today. On the whole, I over-run and "drop" 3 short scenes (total 3 scenes is around half a page). BUT I manage to shoot alot of things and did alot of last minute shots that's not according to my "homework". At first, I really wonder if I can make it, cos there are interview-drama to shoot which are 7 pages long, but I just manage to did it. My crew gave me alot of support and assurance that I can make it as a Director. I just need to buck up on my communication, in giving artists on their acting.

Director is such tiring position and job also, different from what I thought. Everyone listens to Director's instructions and awaits for the shot to take. Wherethe or not the scene or shot turns up nice or not, also depend on the Director. If the Director lose focus or can't think of any shot suddently, then everyone will start to lose respect. I was rather pressure and stress that I can't give proper and clear instructions. I hate and scare to disappoint others who have expectations of me. I always give my best in everything I do but I am just a human, not wonder woman.

The moment I wrap, I was so dead tired. All the thinking and talking makes me so tired. Now I know why Michael always complained of not enough water to drink and sore throat. I kept drinking water today also. Been talking non-stop the moment I start filming for the day.

Next shoot on Thur, I just hope I can focus also. Not sure if what I shot can be edited and conti or not. Can't wait for Michael to come back, watch my shots and give me his comments. Got to go back Dream Forest again either tomorrow or Thur after shoot to check on emails and do paperworks.

Quote this from Larry in 80's Rewind

Larry

Wish me luck

Others

Luck!

So, wish me luck friends.

New favourite song

http://youtube.com/watch?v=IHitfRTxg4U
原唱者：羅志祥
我不會唱歌

這首為你點播的歌
如果我先哭了 怎麼唱到最後
是的 感情不是K歌
音階一字不漏 不見得感動

我也懂 拿麥的手不能顫抖
曾握著 就能感受你比我難過
誰寫的 歌詞那麼適合放手
我怎能捨不得

我努力唱完主歌　我忘了走音沒有　
我到底哭什麼　哭什麼 明明搞笑的

我努力唱好朋友　我忘了是誰哭了　
就算你不記得　這首歌 唱完的 是我

我努力唱完這歌 我忘了破音沒有
你心裏觸動的 下一首 已經不是我

我努力唱到嘶吼 我不怕剩我一個
只要你能記得 這首歌 給我最 愛的

Rainy seasons

It has been raining for the past few days or maybe weeks. I hate rain. It make me feel sad and depress and I don't know why. Could be I am feeling lonely cos festive seasons are coming soon. 2 more days and I be leaving current company and freelancing outside again. Next week onwards, I be Directing again. Until Mr Woo comes back on 10th Dec.

26 more days to X'mas and I am afraid of been alone.
33 more days to 2008.
I just hate it when I got no one special to spend the seasons with. What's wrong with me? Am I a freak? Am I really that ugly?

What's up

Life is so weak and uncontrollable. My best friend's grandma pass away on 17th, went to the funeral. My heart break when I saw my friend so skinny and weak. I did everything I can to help her, the rest is up to her. The life is her's, how she wants her fate to turn up is up to her.

Then I received news that a colleague's brother pass away on 22nd. It's so sad and depressing. So many people I heard about pass away.

5 more days to my last day with current company, I got to start bring my stuffs home. Next Tue onwards I be directing. Great! I have not read the scripts nor did anything yet.

A short film I am suppose to help up, started filming last weekend. Am suppose to help up lar, but am too busy with my own projects to handle. Moreover, I will have to take the limited rest or off days to really rest and relax at home.

Aching

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nngYqmulLJI
Check up this link, it's Mr Man singing. Hahahaha...

My whole body is aching and in pain from yesterday dance class. All the spinning and turning, leaves my leg with fresh bruises and injuries. This is so different from wushu. In wushu, I only get aching, but pole dancing I get aching, bruises and injuries. Got home late last night, not enough sleep. Now my eyes are red and painful. Have ktv tonight, I just wana go home and sleep. Yawn....

9 more days

9 more days before I move on to a new company. I communicate with the company boss though online and get my job scopes and rates settle down. Right now, I told the company AD to give me the projects updates, so that when I join the company, I know what to do and what to expect.

Be having my dancing class again tonight and then tomorrow night I got ktv with my 小弟，小妹們. Friday will be a day where I need to deliver datelines and chase datelines.

Got to update alot of stuffs in current project before I can move on. Dec and Jan is a period I got to handle 3 projects or maybe 4 projects at the bsame time. Cherlyn, you are behaving like a super woman again. I think I can say good bye to my holiday trips again. Almost 2 years without a proper break.

14 more days

14 more days to my countdown, rest for 2 days before starting at new company. Have been watching the taiwan idol drama, 換換愛 starring 楊丞琳，賀俊翔，王傳一 for the past 3 nights. So tired. Almost can't make it to work the next day. Watched until 4-6am, now my eyes must be like a super panda eye. I like the show alot. 王傳一 is so handsome and charming and so the type that I wish for. Haiz... I can only dream on.

Started my pole dancing class on top of my wushu lessons. My whole body is like breaking apart and aching. I like the pole dance. Maybe I can balance my "manly" and "womanly" hormones. The dance make me feel so sexy, although I got no boyfriend to show to. Hahahaha...

Yan Bin asks me to dance infront of his steamboat shop and attract costumers. He is just so funny. He wanted to watch me perform, so silly.

It's Frieday again, no date, no appointment, no place to go. Guess I will go home and finish up on 換換愛. Then at least next week, I don't have to stay up late to watch.

Bintan / Batam / Genting / Penang / Hong Kong / Taiwan... Where should I go for my holiday? Most likely going alone cos friends should be either not available or too broke to go with me.

I really can't wait for the China project to happen, then I can get out of Singapore.

18 days

18 more days to go before I more on to another company. New colleague... not really consider actually... new working office, new working location and direction to go to, new table, new air, new systems.

I still have not done any overseas project yet. So sad and so sick of myself. New project will be doing wither PM work or Director work. Not even sure how many projects I be taking out for the company also. It all depend on fate and working environment lor.

49 days before 2007 ends and I am still single. Haiz.

Test

Are you a flirt? Natural Flirt
Chatting up men can feel really awkward for some, but for you flirting comes naturally. Your incredible sex appeal and sociable demeanor means that men feel comfortable talking to you, and these are what add to your charm.

When it comes to men you're interested in, you're not afraid to make the first move, but your approach is more friendly rather than sexual.

Coy laughs, head tilts, fun conversations, eye bats – these girly flirting tactics are your signature moves. But your winning trait has to be your intuitive ability to pace your advances, so even though you wish you could lay your paws on that hot guy right now, you know it's way wiser to proceed with light verbal flirting first.

How Romantic Are You? The Steady
When it comes to your love life, you appreciate the romantic gifts: Roses, chocolates and other sweet surprises. But ultimately what touch your heart most are those intangible little gestures of love, like how he pays attention to your wants and needs, really listens to you and is always there to share your joys and tears.

You're down-to-earth, and that's great because you don't expect the impossible from your partner or a fairy-tale relationship. Sure, you're super glad to have found someone to share your life with, but at the same time you need your own space too.

Still, keep feeding your relationship with romance day after day and you can strengthen it even more: Give him a kiss, a cuddle and ask him how he's doing. Indulge in fancy dinner dates and surprise him with a Valentine card every now and then. The more attention you give to your relationship, the closer you'll become.

What's happening

Yesterday night went to watch Bee Movie with Bob, Meihui and Dennis. It's a great movie with great animations and I actually laugh watching cartoon. It's goes to show how nice the movie is.

Tonight be recording VO for a drama then afterwhich eating dinner with the 3 kids in the show and my AD, going to Jackie Chan's new restaurant. Wonder if the food are nice or not. Thought of watching Saw4 after dinner ler.

Tomorrow I be going Singapore Discovery Centre with Kai Li. Finally! I am going finally! Always can't find friends to go with me. Finally Kai Li also wants to go.

The English kids drama episode 2 telecast got problem, got to do changes. Haiz... I really hate post.

By the way, I got exciting new hobby or rather interest that I took up................ I join......................................................................................................... POLE DANCING! My friends and others who know me must be so surpises. I am surprise at myself also lor. 可能时人老了，什么都敢尝试。School called Groove near Outram MRT, rather easy to go. So exciting!

My aim

My aim for this week or rather this month

• Colour hair and re-style
• Buy digital camera
• Sign up for gym / fitness centre
• Get projects stable down for next few months (MICWOO... waiting for you ah!!!)
• Buy new heels
• Fancl shopping AGAIN
• Plan for holiday either for Dec / Jan
• Go for dating services
• Buy new bags
• Watch Saw4
• Get ALL my claims for Mandy before I leave

The AVP just talk to me and told me to stay until Mandy's post are all done. However, I don't have to go office everyday. Need to see my contract and see how many days I should report to office liao.

Horrible start for this week

It's only Wed but had such horrible start for this week that I don't think things will get better for the rest of the days this week.
Came into office on Mon and find out that the weekend raining cos the office to flood, and its AGAIN according to the colleagues. God! Aren't they going to do anything about it? The stupid BIG hole in the ceiling above Sam's desk is so un-stable that I think that it might fall anytime. Due to the super flood, the sponsors items are damaged and then we have to pay. God! All these are un-necessary lor. All those damaged control that I have to do and re-adjusting of budget really kills.
Tue night suppose to dump out Ep1-3 for TX but there is technicial problems (which is un-necessary AGAIN). So have to postphone submissions for 2 days. God! The extra cos for the deck will be in my budget also.
My best friend for 14 years, her grandma has bone cancer. Doctor says she don't have much days to leave, so instead of staying in the hospital and taking in all the gems, might as well stay at home. It's like 等死, same case as my great grandma years back.
I got 30 more days before I leave current company. I really need a new place, new environment, new colleagues, new project. What I really need is a break, a holiday, before I break apart.

Tired

So tired and aching. Did stunt double yesterday. Was so funny yesterday before the job. I was at Bugis Junction waiting for Yan Bin, however he was waiting at Bishan Junction. I mean, the AD sms him Bishan Junction. I only read Junction and I only thought of Bugis. When I found out Yan Bin was at Bishan, I book a cab to Junction 8. When I reached, only to find out later from Yan Bin that the AD sms him the wrong location. AHHHH!!!!!!!!! Then we went back to Bugis in Yan Bin's car. God! What a mess.

As for the stunt I did, I wasn't happy with my performances. Right feet mother thumb bleed. Both legs all full of bruises. Can't walk properly. I need to re-train again. Am not flexible enough.

Headache

I am right about this issue, actually am most of the time right about my work.

I SHOULD NOT DO POST-PRODUCTION

I HATE POST-PRODUCTION

I HATE PLANNING FOR SUBMISSION OF SERIES TO BE TELECAST

Mandy wraps on 21st Oct, no more filming. Right now, it's down to getting everything in order and in time for telecast. Still got sponsors logo to be scan in, end tag to be done, OCBC got to get back to me about the music... alot alot of things to do. Am having headach now, very pain. I really hate doing this part of production. Planning of my slots are killing me. 18 more days to Episode 1 telecast date and it isn't done yet. No opening, no CB bumpers, no end credits, no tagline, no tagline music. God! This is getting scary man.


Tommorrow got to go Cutting Edge by 10am, collect stuffs, Then come back office and deliver reels to Kids Central. It's so tiring. Am the Project Manager but my job more like runner.


Thur, stunt is confirm. Yan Bin just call me and ask for my measurement cos I be the double and MediaCorp got to have the clothes just right for me. Wondering who are the crews, AP, propsman etx. Director I know who already, followed him before when I was in MediaCorp. Very nice guy. Hahahaha... Same size as Michael Woo... Hahahaha...This is my new hairstyle. I like it alot. Do you? Ellery and Sharon and others say I look better with this hairstyle. Still not used to the front but I will maintain it. It's good to have a change, after all these 28 years. One of my Senior for stunts and teacher in Kuen Wushu. Seems like I am always hanging out with China people, now my Mandarin very 'China' accents also. Hahahaha...

Fri si mom's birthday, got to have dinner with her. Don't know what to give her. Might be going to Yan Bin's restaurant and eat.

27th and 28th got filming again. I have not have a single day of rest or non-work days for ages.

我现在的心情

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WHe8P2dgI1E
杨丞琳 - 缺氧

作詞：大麥 作曲：左安安 演唱：楊丞琳

春天慢慢一點點發芽
快樂開始都有了想像
城市光合作用的模樣
幸福開始組裝
夜裡滿園的茉莉花香
月光灑落看不見憂傷
旋轉木馬前那個廣場
愛情開始滋長
想你有時會缺氧
嘴角不自覺上揚
這是不是幸福的現象
胸口微微的發燙
想你有時會缺氧
臉紅呼吸不正常
這是不是幸福的症狀
不知不覺又缺氧

.夜裡滿園的茉莉花香
月光灑落看不見憂傷
旋轉木馬前那個廣場
愛情開始滋長
想你有時會缺氧
嘴角不自覺上揚
這是不是幸福的症狀
不知不覺又缺氧
無法移動的夢想
就算沒有人鼓掌　我也不會受傷
不會稀釋的信仰
心穿越磚牆　在你的身旁
想你有時會缺氧
嘴角不自覺上揚
這是不是幸福的症狀
胸口微微的發燙
不知不覺又缺氧

我的心情

蔡依林 一个人

从皮包里扯出我们的照片 沙发要移到客厅的另一边
晚饭后你可以多尝几口想念 已经没什么人会埋怨
晴天阴天今天又是星期天 唯一的打算是心更乱一些
反正我不知道怎样打发时间 出门或不出门没差别

一个人 到底应该选右边或左边
两个人 每一次争吵都值得纪念
一个人 偶尔感到寂寞在所难免
你的气味还留在枕头边

一个人 我重新适应一切不方便
两个人 不一定就成全一个世界
一个人 关灯看见记忆的横切面
没有光线 过去那些情节更明显
Wow…… 到底应该是右边或左边
呜…… 更明显

第一次听这首歌的时候我哭了，心里在想起谁呢？只有我自己知道。

Lost

Had a super packed week last week. Lost my favourite handphone that I got for my this year present on Thur night. It's all my fault for drinking so much. I am so sad for 2 main reasons: (1)The handphone is a gift and it's my dream mobile in my dream colour. (2)All my contacts are gone.

Finally got time to buy a new handphone on Sat afternoon, got a N76. Why I never buy the same mobile back? Cos I guess I am not fated and not suitable to have the phone cos it's the 1st time I lost a phone for the past 28 years!

I hope the new phone will bring me luck. Am thinking of getting a laptop and digital camera next month.

Talking about digital camera, Sam lost his camera while senting me home on Thur night. Sorry about it Sam!

Should be resting

I should be resting right now but I guess I am scare of being alone. Am at Michael's pub again, with Michael (of cos!), Yan Bing and Chun Yu Shan Shan. Been drinking for don't know how many times this week.

Tomorrow coming back here again.

am so bored with my life. Am so bored being alone.

7 days a week

My this whole week is burn with appointments and works. Went to watch Yan Bing do stunts yesterday, then went dinner with him, Wan Liang and Yang Guang. It's great! After which went St. James with them cos have another group of stunts people just finish a show there led by Picasso. Drank too much, now not feeling that well.

Work and work non stop, this week is passing too fast. It's Wed already and there are alot of stuffs not done yet and unfinish.

52 more days left

To spend

Got alot of thing that I wana buy and do, but either am too lazy to go shop for them or just don't know how to buy.

1. Laptop, with everything install inside (words, excel, msn, burner etc). Be great if someone will buy for me and I just pay and use. Like the pink laptop that was advertise.
2. Digital camera
3. New heels
4. Rebonding
5. New hairdo with new colour
6. Photography camera

MAIN TOP: HOLIDAY!!!!

Bee going Taiwan with her friend in Dec, at first say we go together. so sad. I can't go. Got project on hand. I really want to take a break after all projects end this year before I work again. 2 weeks break is more than I ask for, hoping by that time I have a boyfriend to go holiday with me.

Updates

• Directed 3 scenes last Sat with the super regular DOP that I always use. Actually should be directing all scenes on Sat but am having headache and on top of it, I am still learning
• 1 of my crew almost fight with a civilian during unloading of equipments, haiz.. Why is it always him?
• Casts call me 导演 on set, not used to it
• Might be filming a project for 3 months overseas, to be confirm in Nov

Meanwhile, very tired. Came office this morning at 6am to digitize shots. Now stomach pain from the stupid black coffee I had. Got to got Tanjong Pagar later, droping tapes at editing house and TV12. Eyes pain pain

Shagged

Have been dreaming of my holidays and break for some many months. Had a good an long talk with Ellery last night. He said that I need a break, to re-charged, to think about my future, to rest. He says that I should film a short film, then use it as my portfolio. It's a pathway to being a Director also. I am stuck as AD and PM positions for too long already.

PM jobs are really not me, alot of networks and emails and people to handle.
AD jobs are tiring and non-rest from pre-production to production.

I guess I really need a break to re-think about my future.

A chance Finally

I finally got a chance to shoot a scene all by myself! With the help of another Director by my side lar. The main thing is that it the first half of the scene in the PILOT episode! So happy! It's 2 pages long, and I only did my "homework" on the spot itself. Wow! I can shoot man. That scene involve 4 casts and it's in the coffee shop. However, I over-run, causing the orginial Director got to rush for the rest of the scenes for the day.

I seriously need a break after all these projects this year. Even the little kid in the show says that I look very tired and told me to take a break. Haiz. What's the use of having people knowing me and asking me to do their projects? What's the use of doing so many projects and earing the money? The stress and tired don't seems to make me happy anymore. I am hoping for a guy to love me and pamper me. Have been alone and single for so long. Feel very sad and depress.

Should I go for blind date? Any suggestions anyone? Any guy to introduce?

Personality tests

Get to know yourself better

Your view on yourself:You are down-to-earth and people like you because you are so straightforward. You are an efficient problem solver because you will listen to both sides of an argument before making a decision that usually appeals to both parties.

The type of boyfriend you are looking for:You like serious, smart and determined people. You don't judge a book by its cover, so good-looking people aren't necessarily your style. This makes you an attractive person in many people's eyes.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.

The seriousness of your love:Your have very sensible tactics when approaching the opposite sex. In many ways people find your straightforwardness attractive, so you will find yourself with plenty of dates.

Your views on education You may not like to study but you have many practical ideas. You listen to your own instincts and tend to follow your heart, so you will probably end up with an unusual job.

You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.

How do you view success:You are confident that you will be successful in your chosen career and nothing will stop you from trying.

What are you most afraid of:You are afraid of having no one to rely on in times of trouble. You don't ever want to be unable to take care of yourself. Independence is important to you.
Who is your true self:You like privacy very much because you enjoy spending time with your own thoughts. You like to disappear when you cannot find solutions to your own problems, but you would feel better if you learned to share your thoughts with a person you trust.

The Real You
Here is the analysis:
You've got great self-confidence and you're full of charm. Most guys who get to know you will be attracted to you. You are far from sweet and proper; your intriguing personality fascinates them. Most guys find it easy to fall for a girl like you.

You really care about other people's feelings and are quite serious about the issues that affect your life. You are sincere, and your concern for the well-being of others makes many people want to be your friend.

You are a bright, cheerful and bubbly person. You are thoughtful and considerate, and like to have fun. Everybody feels comfortable around you because of your pleasant nature. When you walk into a room, people's eyes are likely to be drawn to you because of your charm.

Guys see you as being a thinker and a careful person. They will be really attracted to this quality in you, but you need to learn to speak your mind, otherwise people will find you too shy and quiet. Learn to relax and lighten up--it's okay to have fun sometimes. When you learn to develop your fun-loving side, guys are going to flock to your side.

Your boyfriend thinks that you are a real doll but this is not a totally positive thing. Sometimes you can be a bit too sweet, and come across as being helpless. If you're like this too frequently, your boyfriend and other people are likely to get tired of you having to rely on them all the time.

My peraonality love test.

Here is the analysis:You desire a love that will last forever. You are quite serious about finding this type of love, and that's why you think carefully about the men that you meet before deciding whether you could really love them. You don't just develop a crush on someone overnight: you look at a person's personality and other aspects of their life before deciding to form an attachment. If a guy doesn't meet your expectations, you would rather be alone. Your love has to be perfect. Be careful though, you could be missing out on some worthy relationships because your standards are so high.

A confident person

You like to do activities on your own. You are confident and that's why you don't care what other people think about you. You are ambitious and often worry about your future. You don't like to be a follower because you like to be independent - this means you are always trying your best to be the leader. You are attractive to other people because of your confidence and intelligence.

You value your friendships: 60%

You love your friends very much - so much so that it's actually quite a worry. You may not be able to cope very well when you do lose somebody's friendship. You are a very sensitive and fragile person, and are therefore likely to get upset easily. You care for your friends and are willing to do anything that they ask you to do. Sometimes this can make your friends think that you are a bit of a nuisance. Nevertheless, people do really love you because your highest priority is your friends.

Nosy Level: 80%

You have a wild and crazy imagination, and this can lead you to being very nosy as you strive to check out whether your theories are true. You get very occupied with your own thoughts and create fantastic stories out of the things that you think are happening in people's lives. It might be a good idea to concentrate more on your own life.

Here is the analysis:You are interested in the opposite sex. Though you have already got a guy you like, you still date with other guys. Is that right?

Jealousy Test

Jealousy Level: 50%
You harbor hidden feelings of jealousyYou easily get jealous of other people, but you manage to control your expressions and emotions. For instance, when a close friend tells you that she has met the man of her dreams, you might sincerely say to her "Congratulations!", but what you're really thinking is "You're so lucky! Why can't I be you?"

How you control your husband, who will lead the family and who will be led?

You will never expect to control your boyfriend or husband. Your boyfriend and you will take turns to make decision and the decision is often acceptable to both of you. Whatever you want to let him know, you can just tell him straightforwardly. This is a good relationship, a pretty modern one.

What are the causes of your conflicts with friends?

A map and a compass are a sign of seriousness. However, you often forget the time and place for your appointment with friends which bores them right? So, don't mix up your schedule and recheck it in order to follow the schedule correctly.

Here is the analysis:You are more concerned with yourself rather than with others. Superficially, you are a quiet and imaginative person. As you choose to sit at the back, you can converse with your friends although you do not talk a lot.

Here is the analysis:You love fair relationship with your boyfriends. You like a simple wedding. It can merely be cohabitation without wedding, or you live separately with your husband. Despite all these, you will still have a good time together until you become a grandmother or a grandfather. Then, you are still good friends who always living the rest of your life together.

Here is the analysis:You had a dream when you were young. For you, having friends is important, so you have a lot of close friends who share the same dream and interest. You and your life companion have similar personalities.

Here is the analysis:You are very direct, which might freak them out. Something along the lines of "Have you ever looked at yourself in the mirror?" might slip from your lips.

Your Hidden Talent
Here is the analysis:The Mass Communicator You have a cheerful personality and you are a naturally kind person. Your hidden talent isn't really that hidden at all: you shine among a crowd. You would make an ideal news announcer, flight attendant or model - any position that would give you an opportunity to deal with plenty of people. A tip for you is to avoid getting too deeply involved in others' personal lives - otherwise you might find yourself constantly being asked for help.

Who is your dream guy?
Here is the analysis:He is wild and adventurous. His path is often against the world. He does what he wants when he feels like. His type of girl is quite like him, independent and wise. If you love freedom and willing to risk, go for this guy.

You are very creative. Your wedding should be unique and people will remark about it for some time afterwards.

Although you are emotional, you have full control of behavior. Being patient is your unique quality.

Your future friend: You have a big sister confidence and leadership. So you friends are mostly vulnerable and always need your help. You can't resist helping these people and eventually you all will become good friends.

Your travel plan: You will travel to exotic countries like Tibet, India, Egypt. You enjoy visiting ancient ruins, lost woods and spending time in a hut in peaceful neighborhood.

Your future financial status: You are a big spender! You always spend on friends and luxury goods without feeling guilty. No matter how much you earn, you churn to match it. Your credit cards get thinner and thinner from frequent swipes. The figure in your bank account is not what you enjoy seeing.

The last period of your life: You like to be in an peaceful environment with your old man. You get annoyed by the noise and turbulence caused by your grandchildren. They will even think of you as a mean person.

Your inner energy brings you through life. You will achieve your goal in life as long as you take it easy.

You are cheerful but watch out for gossips. Friends think that you stick your nose into most matters. But because of your cheerfulness, you are often forgiven. Try to be far away as possible from gossips.

You are like most other ladies who dream of a memorable wedding.

What if your boyfriend goes out with another girl?

You are like most others who take the middle track. Although you won't get over-worried, you are not too optimistic either. You overcome bad times after a while and patience will bring you happiness.

Because of your kind nature, you always find it hard to turn down people in need. You always want to do so many things at once but eventually you might not achieve anything. Try to focus on one thing at a time and you will surely be successful.

You are too careful to reveal yourself to others. No one can tell what is under your smiling face.

You only think about having affairs with another but you will never cheat on your loved one in real life.

Your Sixth Sense Score: 67%

You are reasonable and won't get blown by temptations. However, you might miss some great opportunities.

You like to know secrets about people. You are quite superstitious. Although you are very careful about spending your money, you often end up spending a lot of money on unnecessary stuff.

You care for people. Other people's small matters easily shock you. You look brave, but in fact you are hiding weaknesses inside. You often talk about your faults or things that you think you could have done better again and again, though no one criticizes you about them.

Your house tells the world that you ought to be a leader. You are a freedom lover and a strong person. You love your house and family. You are a gifted artist as well. Once you have a problem, you need a friend with you. You are an ambitious person. You will avoid being alone and seek the company of others whenever possible. You love excitement and create it wherever you go. You are an ordinary and down-to-earth person. You are also tough and will meet success in important issues without many difficulties. You see the world as it is, not as you believe it should be. You added a flower into your drawing. The flower signifies that you long for love. It also safe to say that others don't see you as a flirt. You are self-confident and happy with your life.

You radiate sympathy and fellowship. You concern yourself chiefly with the people around you and place a high value on harmonious human contacts. You are friendly, tactful, and sympathetic. You are persevering, conscientious and orderly even in small matters, and inclined to expect others to be the same. You are particularly warmed by approval and sensitive to indifference. Much of your pleasure and satisfaction comes from the warmth of feeling of people around you. You tend to concentrate on the admirable qualities of other people and are loyal to respected persons, institutions, or causes, sometimes to the point of idealizing whatever you admire.

You have the gift of finding value in other people's opinions. Even when these opinions are in conflict, you have faith that harmony can somehow be achieved and you often manage to bring it about. To achieve harmony, you are ready to agree with other's opinions within reasonable limits. You need to be careful however, that you don't concentrate so much on the viewpoints of others that you lose site of your own.

You are mainly interested in the realities perceived by your five senses, so you become practical, realistic, and down-to-earth. You take great interest in the unique differences in each experience. You appreciate and enjoy your possessions. You enjoy variety but can adapt well to routine.

You are in your best in jobs that deal with people and in situations where cooperation can be brought about through good will. You are found in jobs such as teaching, preaching, and selling. Your compassion and awareness of physical conditions often attracts you to health professions, where you can provide warmth, comfort, and patient caring. You are less likely to be happy in work demanding mastery of abstract ideas or impersonal analysis. You think best when talking with people, and enjoy communicating. You have to make a special effort to be brief and businesslike and not let sociability slow you down on the job.

You like to base your plans and decisions upon known facts and on your personal values. While liking to have matters decided or settled, you do not necessarily want to make all the decisions yourself. You run some risk of jumping to conclusions before you understand the situations. If you have not taken time to gain first-hand knowledge about a person or situation, your actions may not have the helpful results you intended. For example, in the beginning of a new project or job, you may do things you assume should be done, instead of taking the time to find out what is really wanted or needed. You have many definite "shoulds" and "should nots," and may express these freely.

You find it is especially hard to admit the truth about problems with people or things you care about. If you fail to face disagreeable facts, or refuse to look at criticism that hurts, you will try to ignore your problems instead of searching for solutions.

You are logical, smart and inventive. It's okay for you to make people think that you are a little self-centered. You just focus on what you're doing.

Do you have a chance with the one you love?

A brave person like you never misses a chance. In any case, if you don't make any efforts to meet people, no relationship is going to get started.

You are a quick thinker, efficient, and always in a rush. If you expect everyone to be like you, this only causes frustration and stress. You don't want to waste your time, but can be careless and pessimistic.

You've made your way well in this world despite all the obstacles you've had to faced. You have survived a lot more troubles than most people. You have had to deal with difficult people, ridiculous rules, and tempestuous relationships.
Love for you can be as intense as the fire on the face of the sun. You are either very calm on the inside when there is a lot of insanity going on around you, or you shut people up and take charge. You can go to a movie by yourself. You are as comfortable alone as you are with others. You are angry at your parents but you can't change them.
You are a great lover when you find that rare mate who is your equal, otherwise your relationships do not go well. Life is a roller coaster, and you are finding ways to make the good times better. You love sports.

The most important thing in your life is a person you like. The type of friends that you want is understanding and sensible. Though you are happy with your present situation, you think a change would be better. You expect so much from your relationships. You are an academic expert. You are interested in researching the complexity of human minds. You are a researcher who love doing various kinds of experiment. Hey, we know that you break the law sometimes. One of the example is that you drive too fast on the highway. When communicating with the one you like, you think you know him/her, but sometimes you're not sure. You rely on your parents so much and want them to always be close to you. You are easy-going and optimistic. If your boyfriend told you that he wanted to stop the relationship, you might say "It's fine with me", give him your biggest smile and wave good-bye easily. You are scared of being cheated on by others and don't want to be disappointed. That's why you seem to be contented with unrequited love.

You're a socialite. You go out to a party frequently and hang around with lots of people. You're very enthusiastic, ambitious and love challenges. You are not much attractive to the opposite sex. However, you still have something so special, which makes them like to get along with you.You are an honest person and have a unique way of seeing things. Your friends see you as a quite friendly person. It would be very difficult for you to fall in love with someone. But when you love, honesty is your first priority. You are an emotional person. You think good luck doesn't exist. Reality is built on practicalities. It's probably safe to say that you do not buy lottery tickets.
People often attribute unexpected events to good luck or bad luck. When something goes well, it's because of good luck. When things turn sour, it's plain bad luck. Your answer reveals what kind of luck (what's inside the box) you think will befall you in an unexpected circumstance (the box on the road).

Your emotional controlled rate: 40%

You know how to let your emotions show but you still find it difficult to do so as often as you should. You should be prepared to let your emotions out more often. When you feel sad let yourself cry, when you feel angry, let your anger show and when you feel happy allow a smile to cross your face.
Allowing your emotions out in this way will do wonders to your physical and mental health.

Am I in love?

Recently the love bug is within me again. Not sure how he feels about me, never ask. Maybe he sees me just as a normal friend or colleague. Just find myself always going to his office and talk to him. seeing him makes my problems and troubles go away. Talking to him is relaxing and comforting.

Today, was in a super emotion moods and had terrible mood swings. Went to his office and cried. Although he is busy with works and never really did much but I feel rather console by just seeing him and with him been there.

Right now, I don't want to think too much. I hope to focus in the projects I am in and pray that everything went on well. Got problems with writers, network and sponsor. I can't really function as PM. The duties are too heavy and burden is too much. I can control burgets but controlling the whole team is another issues.

Got problems with my health these days. Went to see doctor on Wed midnight, doctor says I have serious gastric problem and infection which might lead to 盲肠炎. If really 盲肠炎, then I will have to go for operation. Shit! I got to nurse back my health. Colleagues have really been concerning me. Getting me to eat on time and making sure that I got enough rest. Should be on 2 days mc for Thur and today, but there are just too many things to do that I can't afford the rest. Parents are angry that I am on mc but still go to work. “你又不是赚很多，做到半条命。” The medicial bill is so expensive! The injection and medicines cost $60! Haiz...

Just hoping to go for a break soon, before I really break down and die.