Life vs Work

Have been rather busy these few days. Going to start filming this coming Friday and the main cast isn't confirm yet. My home pc is down and I got no money to send for reply or buy a new one. Can't do my schedules and send email out. Feel so helpless and useless.
Filmat36 call me up and we agree to try out for 2 months before going full time and I start work tomorrow. Which means I have to settle the short film schedules by today, which I am at my auntie's house doing it. To make my mood worse, she has no excel in her pc which I have to download it and it's going to take hours. Fuck lar! My life and work isn't going anywhere!
Have been so lonely at nights, getting sleepless nights....
My life and work sucks! No stable career, No stable income, No love life, No friends to go out with.
Feel like dying sometimes...