好难过

4 more days to my birthday, I am not happy nor excited at all. Not feeling very happy with myself and hate myself alot. Beside the point that I got into the project half way its production, I got alot of things to catch up on. Feel that I am getting old, mentally and physically I can stand it anymore. I had a hard time catching up and remembering stuffs. I really hate myself. I am not performing my usual self. This project is so rush and to make it worse, I got 2 PA, Fatila is great. She is hanging on there. However, the 2nd PA is always quitting. The gal quit cos she felt that production isn't for her, then the replacement guy quit cos he said his family don't support him. I find that its rather "crap" cos if you have all this "reasons", don't take up the project in the first place.

Damn shit. I feel very shitty.