Life

Have been bored with nothing to do at home since Kai Li FYP ended. Beside going for jobs interviews, film meetings, Jeremy's meetings my life is very boring and dying. Met up with Zavier and went to watch him play hockey which isn't the official plan but well... long story.

Last night, dad went crazy again. Came home drunk and start yelling at everyone. Really sick of this home, this family.

I find my life dying. I see no motivation in everything I do. I have no friends, no boyfriend to love me, no career to speak of, no money, no goal... NIL! NOTHING! ZERO!

I have to put on a smiling face everytime I go out, cos people only like you when you smile often. They say I look happy, but they don't know that my smile is very forceful and not from my heart. My smile is very PR and fake. My laughter and cheerfulness is all fake and force out. I don't know how to keep myself going anymore. I have live on this earth for 28 years and I am still a loser, a nothing...

I am scare. Scare that I will have to live alone by myself when old. Scare that I don't even have the money to buy myself a coffin. Scare that I will die with regrets.

Used to have so many goals and dreams which I don't know that I can fulfill or not.

I HATE MYSELF!

Sian Ah!

I am so bored! Got nothing to do! No one asks me out! Everyone is so busy except me. Where are all my friends?

No projects, no income, no life, no one to love me, no one to ask me out............................................................................................................................................................................................................................................

I SHOULD BE BETTER OFF DIED. MY HEART IS DEAD. MY BRAIN IS DEAD. MY BODY IS DEAD. I SEE NO POINT IN LIVING ANYMORE. FORCING MYSELF TO SMILE IS KILLING ME.

NTU FYP Wrap

Its a wrap for Kai Li's FYP on 6th at 9pm. After 2 weeks of filming and long hours, it's done. Can't wait to see the final product.

Will be getting ready for Jeremy SH, filming in end Feb. Other than that, I got nothing to do liao. Boredom again. Got to find new projects fast.

Tiring week

Had a rather tiring but quite fullfilling weeks. 26th Dec'06 onwards, went to help in Kai Li's FYP. She has a great team with great team spirits. Everyone is willing to learn and do things. Kai Li has been having depressions during this filming periods. I don't know what I can do for her, so can only give her my listening ears and share with her what I had experienced through. Really wish that she can break through her walls and learn to take things easy.

That week was also involved in the feature film meeting, everything is going smoothly and great and according to plans. Am really very excited about the feature film.

Received a call from Filmat36 today checking about my schedule this month.Well, have to see the rates they can give me then I decide if I wana do or not.

Jeremy's SH might be postphone to Feb or March cos this month keep raining. Might be good idea also, cos I am rather tired and drain out from doing Kai Li's FYP.

Spent my New Year eve with B, he gave me flowers and a big poor bear. Really touch my heart.

Oh yeah... the photo I took at Donovan's office opening




I really like the dress I worn that day. Hope my friends who read my blog likes it too.

Wishes for the 2007

1. More jobs = more incomes
2. Become more beautiful (heehee)
3. Learn more things about filming
4. Direct my own stuffs
5. Peace and happiness to everyone around me
6. MOST IMPORTANT... FIND MY MR RIGHT