Boredom

Am so bored! Died of boredom soon. It's Friday, both bosses are overseas, Assistant not in office (locations sourcing by right), so I am all alone in office since 11am. Actually, I can don't bother to come in but in case bosses call to spot check or something, I'm not in, then I kana liao.

Finally watch "Cabaret", a rather nice and enjoying musicial show, which makes me look forward to the one Ellery, Emida and me are preparing.

Have not really start on my short film amendment script yet after talking with Ellery and Sharon that night. Don't really know how and where to start. This always happen to me. Sian ah.

Helping up with Ngee Ann Poly and NTU FYP (foc again). Donovan is so stress up with Ngee Ann script cos he has to speak in Mandarin which he has never acted in Mandarin before. Am helping him with that, really hope that he can gain more confident in speaking in Mandarin so that in future he can act in Chinese show (although I don't like Ch8), in a way he can gain more recognisation for his acting. NTU wants Donovan also but it's rather tiring and no income to do 2 short film within the same month or close to each other.

Jim will be working till 30th Nov, then it will be his last day liao. Cos bosses don't think we can shoot anything in Dec, by Jan Jim is preparing to leave for his overseas studies. I be left alone with no colleagues again in Dec and Jan. It will be so boring and sian to face bosses only everyday. This is sick. Contract till Jan, but should there be project for me in Jan, I will leave in Dec. TVCs and Documentarys just isn't for me. I need to be in action, running about, packed with works. Paper works, co-ordinatings, calling up are just so executive. Am falling sick staying in office everyday, neck and shoulder are aching for facing with the PC for hours. Have to start looking for projects for next year liao, so that I can leave in Dec.

Still praying hard that I can start filming my short film by March... maybe by June lar...

It's been almost 5 months since I broke off... feel so lonely... feel that life has no meaning for me... when will my Mr Right comes and sweep me off my feet? Where are you my dear? I wana hug and kiss you my dear. I really need someone to love me, pamper me, clean my tears away, be with me, by my side. Haiz... am I going to spend Dec festive alone again? Without any boyfriend? I have been through those period, am really scare of the feeling. Why is all this feelings coming to me? Why? Can anyone give me an answer?

Bored and sad

Well... getting more and more impatient of current company. Sign a 3 months contract with them instead of fulltime, cos they can't agree on my rate.

Nicholas is coming back on Sat, 18th. Long time never see him liao. Wonder if he has put on weight or lost weight. Will be auditioning him on Mon, then go for dinner. Can't wait to see my long time buddy.

I am so tired... am so bored... friends always not free... am getting more and more forgetful... so sian...

Kai Li told me over msn recently that I am always bossing her arounf on set, I tend to talk like ordering people. I didn't realise that, have to change on that. If not all assistant don't like me liao.

I can't think of ideas for my script, brain very dead. Don't know where to start writting. Am so slow in my script. Can die...

I need motivations... Miss going out with friends... Am someone who is very afraid of loneliness

Updates

Well... just a short recap of what I did last week.

08th: Met up with Victor to discuss script, always have fun meeting him. He is so chatty and so full of ideas. Went Marina Square and eat, which I forgot the restaurant name. Restaurant rather nice and server rather good too.

09th: Met Sharon at City Hall, had dinner then chat until Ellery joins. Afterwhich, we went Arab Street, they bring me to this place that I will never go alone to smoke this pipe tinky that I forgot what's its called. I don't really like it so I only smoke 2 puffs. Showed them my script, alot of comments and changes. :( Need to rewrite again.

10th: Met up with Jeremy at PS and had dinner at a Japanese restaurant. Afterwhich, we went for a drink at Room Full Of Blues at Prinsep Street. Order a jug only cos he can't drink much, so sian lor. Actually, I wanted to wait till Ellery and Sharon joined us after their lan game but Jeremy is so tired that he just wana go home. So we left lor, I will not want to be alone in the pub and wait lor. Felt rather bored and still wana drink so more, so called Daniel (who is still awake) and went to his house and drink, chat, play poker cards. Stay on till 6am then go home.

11th: Gillian's birthday. Went to eat at Swensen beside Paragon. People I know who turn up are: Ellery, Sharon, Jeremy, Glenn, Jim and Amanda. Over 20 people turn up for her birthday. Wow! We surprise Gillian by giving her a cake (which is as hard as a rock) while she is eating half way. She almost cried. After that, went pub with Ellery, Sharon and Glenn. Nothing much happen cos I don't really know the other half of the group who are there. So I just sit with Sharon, who is protecting me and taking care of me like an angel. Hahahaha...... Ellery sent me home after that, so nice of him.

13th: Should have gone for locations sourcing, but it rain when I just reach the first location. Worse thing is, I fell and sprain my right leg. So unlucky. Then I just go home and never go out liao cos I got fever suddently also.

I think that I sort of repeat myself in the updates. Did I? Forgot liao. Aiyo... getting old liao... keeping forgetting things and issues.

Company got another project in which as usual, I am involve. Have talk to lady boss today, decide to go for another 3 months contract cos they can't pay me the rate for full time. So until 12th Feb lor. Well... at least don't have to worry about finding projects every month lor.

I need a life. I need friends to company me. I need boyfriend (as in normal relationship). Donovan got his very first Mandarin short film and he is not sure if he should take up or not, cos he is not confident about the language.

Am still dreaming about my holiday trip to HK or Taiwan. Anyone interested in going?

Back to basic

This week goes rather fast, busy with full time works and outside works. Met up with Victor on Wed and discuss script, yesterday showed Ellery and Sharon my script. Not very good.

Ellery says that I need to do more research, watch more movies, script need to have a stronger theme, characters need to have difference.... He comments alot, the main point is that my script not good enough to be even summit for grant.

Rather sad after hearing, but am glad that I showed him. Ellery is very helpful and nice. He shares with me alot of details, give me pointers, guide me. Ellery and Sharon are both wonderful couple and as friends.

Okay, it's now back to basic for me. Have to go back to orginial storyboard. Hope to think of something during the weekend. Cos in order to get the grant, it's take 2 months to get feedbacks. Have to start from beginning and re-think about how my script and characters going to be like.

About full time works, locations researcher and art director leave the project already. So now, Jim and I have to do the duties which I think by the time Jim leaves, we only did 1 episode lor. I hate doing locations sourcing, it's a shitty and fuck up job. It reminds me of my credit cards days. Walking from place to place, smiling to strangers, sweet talking but professionally in order to get the locations for free... I just hate it.

However, no matter what, I have to do it. Cos I am the ONLY full time staff in the WHOLE FUCKING COMPANY and the bosses always like to compare the previous ones.

Mon, have to locations source in Serangoon (my place area, unfortunately, everyone will know my job liao), Ang Mo Kio, Toa Payoh and Bishan. This is silly.

*Think positively, maybe I manage to get locations? Nah... the most positive I can think of is that I don't have to go back office and can go home early and not wake up at 830am*

Actually now, my main concern is that how to write my script that at least Ellery will approves.

Updates

Well... nothing much happen... Company projects got delay, as per normal... Don't know when can start filming, which I don't wish that it will crash with my other plans...

Met up with Victor and discuss about my short film... he really help me by giving me creative juices and in my broken English. Finally wrote finish my 1st draft yesterday and now it's down to fine tunning. Chat with Rick Tan yesterday, told him about my short film and he shows interest... My idea and shortlisted "Chris"

Then had the very first meeting with Emida and Ellery the other project, lets just name it "60s". We had a great time throwing in ideas and they really can throw in creative ideas very fast. I am so glad to be involve in the project with them, cos I really like working with them and admire their works and attitudes.

Really hope that everything will go well for me and in my career starting this year end.

Jia You wor, Cherlyn!