谈恋爱

我好想谈恋爱啊！已经很久没有恋爱的感觉了，不知道下一个他什么时候会出现。

为什么会这样？

我又哭了。到底发生了什么事？我疯了！已经分手了一年七个月，可是我还是很想他。想知道他现在到底过的好不好，现在变得什么样子，是胖了还是瘦了，现在做什么公，是否还是喜欢吃同样的食物，是否还是喜欢听那首歌，是否还是喜欢穿那件衣服，是否。。。

我真的很累，我想他想的好累，我不知道还要这样到什么时候。好讨厌这样的自己，这样的我。朋友都说我会找到一个更好的，可是我还要等到什么时候？等多久？我只是一个普通的女人，只想找个人来爱，来疼。

这样的等待是个折磨，是很痛苦。我的心在流血，已经慢慢没感觉了。我的泪已经满的可以装满一个杯了。我好无力。真的好想死去，一了百了。

What's up

Nothing much to update here. Still got alot more to do.

1. Auditions: still not found yet. Dying soon. Project starting in March, I need my casts! 加油！
2. Locations: nothing is done, except that we can mock up 2 locations at the new office and 1 location at Michael's house (again).
3. Sponsorships: Got only 2 confirm, still have alot more to find. Shit! Double shit!
4. Post for Mindy: only submitted up to Ep5, still have 8 more episodes to go. Die lar! Tomorrow airing Ep4 liao, need to do first!
5. Transfering copies in beta and VHS for Mandy: Should be able to settle that. It's not so much of hurry, lucky. Thanks Piao for understanding and been there when I screw up.

Just finish doing the payment for Mindy project crew, talents, extras etc.

Personal things to do:

• I need to tidy up my room this weekend, damn messy and I found ants on my desk. Not a good thing to see and discover, parents killing me soon. Can not let them know (hee hee).
• Buy new year clothes, shoes, bags, bedsheets etc
• Top up my FANCL products
• Rebonding: hair getting out of control
• Facial: need to destory my blackheads, can't stand it anymore
• Dental: need to do check up and go for polishing. Too yellow from all the smoking and drinking

I need my payment for last year soon, if not I can never do the things I want. Reach home at around 11pm plus today after helping Mary Ann with her audition recordings. The studio we went to at Millian Walk sucks! The services are bad, they are so fucking rude. Ban that place. Ellery came and help. After filming at the studio, we went to Mary Ann's house to record another piece. Went to eat dinner at Clementi, Botak Jones, really nice food and rather cheap considering the place is at coffee shop. After eating and bitching, went back to office and transfer tapes, this time Ellery did ALL the works cos I sucks at FCP. I really need to learn more about equipments and editing, all those technicial stuffs lar.

Yawn! 2:03am now, slept at almost 4am yesterday and woke at 11:45am. Eyes can not focus and open liao. Good night!

Fulfilled? No Changes?

It's Sunday today, another wekend has pass. Never did anything much, nothing much happen.

Friday after work, went to attend Jeremy's short film. Had dinner with Kai Li (art diretor for the short film). Victor (PA and cast for the short film) and Meihui before going to the screening. After the screening, went to drink beer with Jeremy, Bryan and Victor which only Victor and I drank. Jeremy and Bryan left early, leaving only me and Victor to continue to drink. Jeremy said my blog is always so depressing, so sorry, I don't know how to be happy and most important, I don't have any happy things or events to write about.

Sat night went to my auntie's wedding anniversay. Nothing much again.

作人真无趣，好闷啊！在电视上看和听到康康专辑里的这首歌，觉得很适合我，很喜欢。请大家到这个网站听一听，可能你也和我一样爱上这首歌。
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DF_K6LmQQco&feature=related Please watch from timecode 00:58 onwards

歌词是这么唱的：

你眼睛會笑　彎成一道橋　終點卻是我　永遠到不了 感覺你來到　是風的呼嘯　思念像苦藥　竟如此難熬 每分　每秒　我找不到　我到不了　你所謂的將來的美好 我什麼都不要知不知道　若你懂我　這一秒　我想看到 我在尋找　那所謂的愛情的美好　我緊緊的依靠 緊謹守牢　不敢漏掉　一絲一毫　願你看到

Moving on

Another new week, moving on to a new project. Have to start doing pre-productions for the new project, which am aiming to start filming in March. Telecast in June, so time line is very tight again. This Friday got to attend Jeremy's short film screening, then this Saturday got to attend my auntie's wedding aniversary chalet. Must collect my contact lens this week.

New Project:

1. Finish up 13 episodes of Master Rundowns and Locations Breakdowns
2. Start the round of auditons
3. Interviewing of interns starts tomorrow

Current Projects:

1. Continue with the post-productions stuffs and delivery (Hate that, but still have to do it).

Company might be moving to a new venue, unsure where. Gosh! The moving of everything in current office will be tiring cos there are alot of stuffs, with all those machines, equipments etc. I want to go holiday, I want to have a break, I want my payment (most important).

Black week

God! It has been a black week since Mon until today. I have not been sleeping since Mon, 9am. The final episode of the English Kids drama has been a problem and until now we are still solving it. The telecast date is this Sun! God! Fainting! Going to have heartache very soon. Have been keeping myself awake by

1. Brainwashing myself
2. Drinking alot alot of red bull and tea and coke

Don't know how long more I can hold on. Thought I can sleep early tonight but... sharks! Things have to happen and don't know what time I can sleep liao.

Aim to be home by 12am wth editor. *Cross Fingers*

In loving memory of Jimmy Nah - MC King

Singapore celebrity, Jimmy Nah, dead at 40Posted

SINGAPORE: Singapore celebrity Jimmy Nah, who is better known as MC King, has passed away suddenly. He was 40 years old. His friends told MediaCorp Radio that Jimmy had experienced breathing difficulties while at home earlier Friday. He was sent to hospital but died shortly after 1pm. It is not known if Jimmy had suffered from any health problems. But in the last entry he posted on his blog on 31 December, Jimmy had hoped for good health in the coming year. Local director Jack Neo, who had worked with Jimmy on several productions, said he was shocked upon hearing the news. "All along, he's very, very healthy. So, I don't know why. I seriously don't know why," said Jack Neo. Jimmy had acted in a couple of local movies, including Neo's "Just Follow Law", as well as local drama serials. - 938LIVE.

Life is really very fragile. Received this news while working in office. He is still so young and talented. I worked with him in afew projects, rather nice guy and friendly. Only 40 but god has to take him away. Maybe god had other plans for him in the other world.

Rest In Peace Jimmy.

Treasure those around you, my friends.

Sick

Been sick for 2 days already, with the flu, cough, sore throat and fever, I am feeling very weak and restless. Never report to work today cos I can't make, but will be dragging myself to the pole dance class later. Got to sweat it up and do work up. Will feel worse is I still at home the whole day doing nothing beside sleeping.

Tomorrow filming sort of cancel, still have filming for 1 re-enactment but without any crew. Guess I will be doing camera works, cos only have me, Michael and Meihui on set. Rather tired. I got to make plans and wishes for 2008, which I hope that they will come true and I can do them.

1. Go overseas for projects, get out of Singapore
2. Get new mobile, cos current one is driving me crazy
3. Get a digital camera
4. Get a laptop with everything install
5. Get new heels
6. Get proper bag for non-working purposes
7. Get better in health
8. Earn more money
9. Get new printer at home
10. Get a proper working desk at home
11. Go for hair remove
12. Rebonding before Chinese New Year
13. Study part-time cos on Media
14. FIND SOMEONE WHO LOVES ME AND I LOVE HIM. HOPEFULLY THE MR RIGHT WILL BE MY LAST BOYFRIEND AND WE WILL GET MARRIED AND LIVE HAPPILY EVER AFTER
15. Write and direct my own short film
16. GO FOR A HOLIDAY SOON. HONG KONG / TAIWAN

That's all I can think of right now. My headache is killing me. I am dying soon.

2008

It's 2008, happy new year to everyone. I got my first present at exactly 12 am the moment everyone starts saying "Happy New Year". I got flu and sore throat. Now my throat is hurting like hell.

What's so great about 2008? It's just another year past with another year ahead. Nothing great. My wish never come true. 2008 it's nothing great really. Still have to keep on working and working. I still don't like every moment of my life.