10 days to go

10 more days and I be flying off for 1 month. Things aren't looking any good and tasks have been snowball. All due to a reason that I don't wana mention here cause it will make my blood pressure to raise.

Have been meeting up with friends for dinner before I leave also. Filming in overseas can be very fast, and before I know it, I am back into Singapore. Will be looking for another project when I am back. So friends... I am available for new project in late Nov onwards.

18 more days

Counting down to the day I fly. I am only left with applying for the Visas and booking of lodgings. Bought the necessay stuffs including winter jacket and 2 track shoes, only left with seeing the doctor for injection.

I believe there are stuffs that I have not buy yet and I can't think of right now. Anyway, I will think and recall soon before I leave.

24 more days to go

Am so scared suddently and it's been 8 years since I last felf this way for a project. Still have alot of stuffs to settle before we can fly off to shoot.

This is scary man. I am afraid... for the first time after so many years... since MCS days... I think I am dying off already

Finally

I finally receive my pay from last project in full. Once the cheque is in my account, I got to clear all debts, bills and allowances to family before I decide what to get for my travelling with the remaining. Got to put aside a sum to use when overseas and also when I return back.

I can finally see lights in my wallet. Can concentrate in my works and of cos, looking for bf again. Hahahaha....

Help

I need help in handling Visa applications. I don't know how to apply for Visa and to make matter worse, I got a United Kingdom of Great Britain & Northern Ireland passport holder in my team. Why can't everyone be holding Singapore passport to make my job less troublesome?! Ahhhhh...... Anyone knows how to apply for Visa and the proceeder to it? I need help. I need advise.

35 more days

I just finish filming the Singapore episode for the travelogue, although it's very tiring and VERY short of manpower, it's been a great and new experience for me. As the AD, I help the crew also. I only have 2 men crew so everyone has to help one another. I carried alot of bags and equipments over my shoulder for 4 days, making my shoulders to ache so much. Although tiring, I went to Singapore Flyer, National Muesum of Singapore, River Cruise, Sri Mariamman Temple and New Majastic Hotel for the first time. Flyer, Cruise are nothing and rather boring after 10 mins. I don't mind going back to Muesum the second time and I know the place rather well already. It's like a maze inside. Temple is as usual temple, but I just can't stand the smell. I will love to stay in New Majastic Hotel one of these day, the hotel is very retro and I love the settings and furnitures.

I have 35 more days before I fly off to the other 5 countries for the travelogue. Bangkok, Ho Chi Minh City, Hong Kong, Shanghai and Tokyo... Here I come... Before that, I got to settle alot of stuffs and things... I will and need to chase back my payment from Big XXX next week, so that I can pay and buy whatever I need for the trip.

Anyway, did my team manage to "fight" for an additional grip to follow us for overseas filming? I hope we do, if not... haiz... how to survive for 5 countries...

New tasks

The current project I am doing is giving me cold sweats. Alot of new things that I never handed before like the Embassies, Visas, Fixers for overseas, Lodgings and transportations for overseas etc. Lucky, Vanessa helps me in some of it although I can still say I am doing it all alone.

This morning had locations recee with DOP and Director starting from 830am, by the time I reach home it's 5pm. Had a quick shower and redo my makeup and tried on afew clothes, before going to Eric Khoo's feature "My Magic". It's the first time I actually like Eric Khoo's movie after so many years. The story rather good and can relate to it. The casts are great, especially the one acting as the son.

Went to watch with Leslie and to my surprise, he acted inside also! As the magician's assistant and he had quite a number of appearances. So cute! So funny!

Watched "Kallang Roar" too. I don't really like the story but it's not bad for a new Director. However, I was rather disturb by the multi top shot and extreme close up and the habits of cutting off talents' forehead in single shots. I was amazed by the CSI--green screens effects they did and how it turn up. I mean, on the actual shoot, there was only 300 extras but the final product turns up, it's like they got 20,000 extras. That's something I must learn.

I just finish amending the callsheets for Sep 01-04 filming (again... haiz...). Done emailing those I got to for the shoot. Write out a lists of things I got to do for the shoot. Now, I am taking time out to update and vent abit of my thoughts in the blog. It's 310am now, got to wake up early tomorrow. Have to look for location and buy props, then come back and settle the rest of the stuffs.

I want to get my pay soon! Damn it! I really hate companies that delay pay, but it seems like a norm and common practise in Singapore to delay payment. That's not a good practise and it sucks! Those companies that delay payment, have they ever spare a thought for those freelancers who live on project basics? Freelancers already don't have CPF, and they still have to wait forever to get their payment?! When all companies start doing that, then everytime we work using our own savings.

I need the money to:
-settle debts
-buy clothes for overseas shoot
-pay parents allowance
-get new laptop before current one dies on me without warning
-settle the health and wellness issues
-get portable USB modem or something like that, so that I can connect to internet even when I am overseas
-get a printer fast

Damn it! So many things I want to do and so many things to pay. I want my pay!

Had chalet since Friday and got home this Morning at almost 9am. Damn tired cause never slept at all for the past 2 nights and had been eating bbq food for 2 nights.

My travelogue has been confirm of the countries and travel date. Be flying off on 12th Oct and be covering these 6 countries: Singapore (Ep1 of cos), Vietnam, Bangkok, Hong Kong, Shanghai and Tokyo.

I start officially with the production house in this project tomorrow at 10am. Have to settle the lodging, air tickets, sponsors, permits etc. Alot of things to do and time is running out. Only left with 2 months and 2 days. Telecast date is in Dec, another super tight budget and tight deadline project, but at least I get to travel out.

Wish me luck everyone.

New Project

Okay, it's official. I be taking the travelogue project, hope that I make the right choice in giving up the reality project. Actually, I am hoping to do both but I am just afraid that my schedules will crash. I be talking to the reality project boss again and discuss futher but I am defintely not going to give up the travelogue project.

Went for the REM wrap party last Friday, was quite nice though I find it abit boring cause there isn't much interactions for everyone. It's like everyone has their own group to gather. Afew got high and drunk.

Anyway, back to the travelogue... I am rather excited and hope that I can perform my duties. This is the first time I be doing a travelogue, so I am hoping for assistants and help from friends and company people. I can only confirm which countries I be actually be going after the official production meeting, but I can be sure that I will be the only female in the whole team that be travelling. DOP, Soundman, Host, Director and me (Producer).

Alot of things got to be done out and approve. The visa, equipments, people, transports, stay etc. I will rest and be fully charged for the next few days before I go full force again.

I miss him... He will be going oversea for project soon, although it's only afew days. After he comes back, I might be busy with my travelogues...

Will updates on the countries and when I be setting off. Might be away for a month or so. I got to take my injection soon and eat more healthy before travel starts.

Decision making time again

It's time to crack my mind and make decision again. Been to afew production houses and went through their projects, there are 2 projects that interest me. However, both projects are going to take place at the same time.

Project A: as Producer, filming starts in either late Aug or early Sept. This project entitles me to travel out of S'pore and to HK, Shanghai, Malaysia, Thailand, Indonesia, Philippines, Indian, Japan etc to name afew. It's the traveling that interests me alot, but pay isn't that good.

Project B: as Project Manager, filming starts 16th Aug. It's all film in local but a reality show. Rather challenging to do but I don't really like the concept or rather the game that's to be play. Pay of course, isn't good also.

Haiz... Which project should I do? Or should I do both? But I am afraid that for the period I will not be in S'pore, there other project needs me, then how?

Going to R.E.M wrap party soon. I will think about it over the weekend and give them an answer on Mon.

Aiya, another production company I still have not go and discuss the project with them yet. However, that project doesn't interest me much, an info-tertainment in Mandarin. The only takes is that I always hope to work with the boss himself.

Thinking time again. Have been resting for 10 days already, it's time to start the ball rolling and get the energy level back again.

New Direction In Life

Attended another meaningful "talk" today. Why I say "talk" cause its not the usual MML or direct sales stuffs. This new trade will change my life and I really want to and hope to achieve some success in it. Everyone is part of the family and the warm is there, although I have not really warm up yet cause they are not my usual group of people.

Don't really want to say too much. Just hope that friends will find the change in me in afew months time, should I have the determination to stay in it like how I stay in Media.

Another wrap

REM has wrap! Yap! So happy! After continuous filming from 16th-21st, beside filming there are overnight stay in office doing props, the drama finally wrap. Went dinner with afew bottles of beer alone with dinner after filming. It's so great to just relax and not worry and bother about next day filming and props.

Great and wonderful team and casts I have. Thanks for all the help and assistant and bearing with my terrible mood swings and loud voice.

Team: Kai Li (for agreeing to be in the project last minute under such super low rate and working so hard), Alvin and Aaron

Crew: Jason (although we do have disagreement and argue sometimes, thanks for been supportive in some of my ideals), Leslie (always been so very helpful and manage to cheer me up when I am feeling super down), Arnold and Siva (for the rides home).

Casts: Ming, Jamie and Jerilyn (these 3 gals are so beautiful, talented and nice although they can be very noisy when place together).

Okay, I be resting a awhile before I start working again. Going for afew companies to talk about other projects on Wed. Then be concentrating on the business, want to stay focus in it. Have to talk to Donovan and discuss about it which actually he has been asking me alot of times when I be free to discuss. BUT first stop, I want to go for a short trip before I start to "run" full force again.

New Life

Starting tomorrow, 14th July, I will work non-stop and will film non-stop until 21st July. I just hope that I can pull everything through and will end the project with a bang. Okay, not really a bang but at least end smooth with good reputations.

Really wana thank Kai Li for joining into this project and helping me pull through. She really help me alot and I mean ALOT.

After project ends, I will rest for awhile and really think about what I want to do. Donovan suggestions isn't bad and I will consider doing his business. Seeing how successful his business turn up and how much he earns, really make me wonder what am I doing here. Current career gives me satisfations but the income isn't stable and coming in. Although I only just half way start Don's business, but I do see the money coming in and the wonder of it.

I be giving myself half a year to 1 year to do the business and see how far I can go from there. If business is good, then media will be my sidelines and passions only.

Heard a good news from a friend and I am really happy for her. I can't say much here until the whole thing is confirm and announce.

I need to work hard be it in my career, money, relationships... I need to re-charge and take a break...

Been working non-stop for the past few days, actually since 27 May. Rather tiring and still trying to hang on there.

Got blue-black over me, sprain my leg, mosqito bites...

5 more episodes to go. Hanging on there.

Birthday feelings

The whole of my birthday was spent filming. The day started from 830am and end at 12am. I didn't even get to celebrate and do anything relaxing or I like. There goes my 29 birthday.

The day before my birthday, I went wushu guang. Chat with Yan Bin and Wang Liang, Wang Liang gave me my very first birthday gift.

Then halfway through filming on Sat, the casts gave me surprise. Then I ate my first birthday cake and got my first balloon as gift.

Just hope that everything goes well and smooth for current project.

好难过

4 more days to my birthday, I am not happy nor excited at all. Not feeling very happy with myself and hate myself alot. Beside the point that I got into the project half way its production, I got alot of things to catch up on. Feel that I am getting old, mentally and physically I can stand it anymore. I had a hard time catching up and remembering stuffs. I really hate myself. I am not performing my usual self. This project is so rush and to make it worse, I got 2 PA, Fatila is great. She is hanging on there. However, the 2nd PA is always quitting. The gal quit cos she felt that production isn't for her, then the replacement guy quit cos he said his family don't support him. I find that its rather "crap" cos if you have all this "reasons", don't take up the project in the first place.

Damn shit. I feel very shitty.

Birthday in 13 days time, nothing achieve in my previous blog entre. Be very busy from tomorrow onwards to mid July with currently project. Currently project is very rush and it's practically leaving the team with no time to rest at all. Either we are filming or we are doing pre-production.

Am hoping and wishing that everything will turn up fine and okay for this project. Can't afford any hipcups at all.

Bless me my friends.

Birthday coming in 19 days time, on 7th June. Wonder if anyone remembers or rather will anyone celebrate for me. Might be working on that day, cos it's a weekend. Not bad, I got the whole production team, crew and casts to be with me. Hahaha... Better not over-run that day, cos I don't wish to be "dead" on my birthday.

Birthday wishlist:
-Hoping that I will have a boyfriend who will be with me
-Health to improve
-More income coming in
-Great career ahead
-Colour printer
-Take up more courses
-Go on a trip

Going to start another mad round of drama on Tuesday onwards. A position that I don't want to be in but I am there to "save" the whole project or rather the production team, as quoted by the DOP. Hahahaha... not sure if I can do anything or be on form again but as everyone knows me, I will do my 100%. Hahahahaha.....

I have been having a series of mood swings and depressions lately. Due to certain issues, I am rather dissapointed and upsets. Oh well, it's over I should move on. Until I manage to get another project, I don't think I can don't let my mind wander too much.

Have been sending resumes to event companies and record companies. Hope to get a reply soon this week, then I can start working again next week.

Should I go back to production? Be out on shoot again? Be involve in low budget dramas again? I don't know anymore, I need to think about it. If just doing PM duties, I might consider. Cos I think I want to rest from all those filming days, those rushing under the sun days.

Waiting for Mark to come back and then I got to talk to the crew about certain issue. Issue that I have never talk about since I join the industry. Issue that I don't know how to really settle and "communicate".

I went to pray for marriage to 月老, hope that I can find someone soon. But guess it's difficult also lar, when I am not working, I am always at home. Never go out, never take part in any activities, never went to any function or event.

Haiz... It's all boil down to fate again. Hope that everything will go well for my work and relationship.