Sick

Been sick for 2 days already, with the flu, cough, sore throat and fever, I am feeling very weak and restless. Never report to work today cos I can't make, but will be dragging myself to the pole dance class later. Got to sweat it up and do work up. Will feel worse is I still at home the whole day doing nothing beside sleeping.

Tomorrow filming sort of cancel, still have filming for 1 re-enactment but without any crew. Guess I will be doing camera works, cos only have me, Michael and Meihui on set. Rather tired. I got to make plans and wishes for 2008, which I hope that they will come true and I can do them.

1. Go overseas for projects, get out of Singapore
2. Get new mobile, cos current one is driving me crazy
3. Get a digital camera
4. Get a laptop with everything install
5. Get new heels
6. Get proper bag for non-working purposes
7. Get better in health
8. Earn more money
9. Get new printer at home
10. Get a proper working desk at home
11. Go for hair remove
12. Rebonding before Chinese New Year
13. Study part-time cos on Media
14. FIND SOMEONE WHO LOVES ME AND I LOVE HIM. HOPEFULLY THE MR RIGHT WILL BE MY LAST BOYFRIEND AND WE WILL GET MARRIED AND LIVE HAPPILY EVER AFTER
15. Write and direct my own short film
16. GO FOR A HOLIDAY SOON. HONG KONG / TAIWAN

That's all I can think of right now. My headache is killing me. I am dying soon.

2008

It's 2008, happy new year to everyone. I got my first present at exactly 12 am the moment everyone starts saying "Happy New Year". I got flu and sore throat. Now my throat is hurting like hell.

What's so great about 2008? It's just another year past with another year ahead. Nothing great. My wish never come true. 2008 it's nothing great really. Still have to keep on working and working. I still don't like every moment of my life.

2008 soon

2 more days to the end of 2007. I felt that I did not achieve much. I don't feel happy at all in 2007, so I am not looking forward to 2008. Have been filming for the past few days, will be filming on 30th and 31st also. Not sure of celebrating or having any countdown. Have been feeling very down and depress lately. The only thing I can say that I should be proud of myself should be that I am more focus in Directing and Project Manager positions. I still hate myself.

HoHoHoHo...

It's X'mas eve tomorrow and I guess I be all alone. No one has invited me, which they all have to be with their other half. Working tomorrow, then after that I guess I will go straight home and hide myself.

What to do. No choice. Not pretty. Not popular. Not famous. Not thick-skinned enough to force myself to join their couple time.

I REALLY HATE X'MAS!

I HATE BEEN ALONE!

I WISH I AM DEAD!

I HATE MYSELF!

I AM DEPRESS!

I AM SAD!

DEAD!

Merry X'mas

3 more day to X'mas, another lonely festive season to spend. I shouldn't be thinking about it at all. I have things to do.

1. Sort out company working schedules fast and make it workable. Spend half a day doing it, but got rejected by the boss. Re-do.
2. Make sure all scenes are done by Dec
3. Post for 2 projects and 1 more project (final episode) for DF got to be done. No hipcups please
4. Make sure I receive my final payment from DF, although it's only $400, better than nothing
5. Crew and talents payment to be settle
6. Hoping to do another rebonding soon
7. Got to service my stupid handphone that off by itself
8. Hoping to get my very own personal laptop soon

What else? I really don't know. It's 214am and I can't sleep at all. So bored! Starting pole dance level 2 on 2nd Jan at 8pm. At least there's something for me to do and spend my time in. Got to start reading those 3 novels I bought ages ago. No motivation to read cos it's rather boring, lucky I bought it at only 3 for $2. Not so heartache.

X'mas coming

8 more days to X'mas and I am so aimless in my love life. I HATE CHRISMAS! It's a seasons of love and hugging around. I have been lonely for some many X'mas years, and I got to spend it alone again this year.

I REALLY TRUELY HATE X'MAS

Golden Horse Award 2007

Watched Golden Horse Award 2007, the 2 awards I been waiting the whole night, rescults out. Best Orginial script - Xue Ying never get it.
Best Male Actor - Gurmit Singh lost to Tony.
The rescults are rather expected but was hoping for miracle. Oh well, will be seeing Michael and xue Ying on Tue. I can be at least proud to say that I am working the writer who was normainted. I am proud to say that I worked with Gurmit and Xue Ying before, which means that their price has increase because of this.
Mon another day of filming, pray hard that I can finish all scenes and don't over-run too much. Then next week, I have to do Mandy Ep9 TX post stuff. Be back in Dream Forest again to settle music cue-sheet and final transcript (with the help of Tim)
Lalalala... Then I see when the 2 bosses finally come back, what they want me to do. Not filming for Mindy, then see what I can do for the post for Mindy and Taoshu.

Never easy

It's never easy been a Director, especially when you are the Project Manager also. At a certain point, I don't even find that my ADs are helping much but I know that they are trying their best. "They are still new and fresh". This is what I always tell myself before I want to yell at the or do anything bad. I was new and fresh once too and I still make mistakes even up till today.

It wasn't an easy day of shoot today but thanks to the support I got from my crew, I manage to shoot everything (I hope) today.

I need to re-think about what position I want to do again. I can't be an Assistant Director forever. Position I got to consider are Project Manager (I got to learn how to handle the budget and network), Floor Manager (rather boring), Crew (learn more about camera works, lighting, sound), Stunts double (which I can't do forever and I will need to practise more on my moves), Director (need to read up on more filming books and watch more hollywood old movies).

Due to this project, I know new crew and understand my crew better. Mark - very nice guy who is always willing to help everyone. Akhbar - funny guy who never fails to make me laugh and can handle all the lighting by himself. Bob - great person although I have not work with him when I direct. Harold - friendly old man who never fails to speak his mind. Jason Yun - the youngest of the crew, always coming to me for advise.

It' s late now, got to sleep. Woke at 7am, filming from 9am-930pm. Very tired. Today is another day I Director cum AD cum abit of crew.

Strive on

Today is my official first day of shoot as Director. Finally! I directed the whole entire day today and without anyone beside me to guide me and assist me. Although I started the first scene over-run, I am glad that I made it today. On the whole, I over-run and "drop" 3 short scenes (total 3 scenes is around half a page). BUT I manage to shoot alot of things and did alot of last minute shots that's not according to my "homework". At first, I really wonder if I can make it, cos there are interview-drama to shoot which are 7 pages long, but I just manage to did it. My crew gave me alot of support and assurance that I can make it as a Director. I just need to buck up on my communication, in giving artists on their acting.

Director is such tiring position and job also, different from what I thought. Everyone listens to Director's instructions and awaits for the shot to take. Wherethe or not the scene or shot turns up nice or not, also depend on the Director. If the Director lose focus or can't think of any shot suddently, then everyone will start to lose respect. I was rather pressure and stress that I can't give proper and clear instructions. I hate and scare to disappoint others who have expectations of me. I always give my best in everything I do but I am just a human, not wonder woman.

The moment I wrap, I was so dead tired. All the thinking and talking makes me so tired. Now I know why Michael always complained of not enough water to drink and sore throat. I kept drinking water today also. Been talking non-stop the moment I start filming for the day.

Next shoot on Thur, I just hope I can focus also. Not sure if what I shot can be edited and conti or not. Can't wait for Michael to come back, watch my shots and give me his comments. Got to go back Dream Forest again either tomorrow or Thur after shoot to check on emails and do paperworks.

Quote this from Larry in 80's Rewind

Larry

Wish me luck

Others

Luck!

So, wish me luck friends.

New favourite song

http://youtube.com/watch?v=IHitfRTxg4U
原唱者：羅志祥
我不會唱歌

這首為你點播的歌
如果我先哭了 怎麼唱到最後
是的 感情不是K歌
音階一字不漏 不見得感動

我也懂 拿麥的手不能顫抖
曾握著 就能感受你比我難過
誰寫的 歌詞那麼適合放手
我怎能捨不得

我努力唱完主歌　我忘了走音沒有　
我到底哭什麼　哭什麼 明明搞笑的

我努力唱好朋友　我忘了是誰哭了　
就算你不記得　這首歌 唱完的 是我

我努力唱完這歌 我忘了破音沒有
你心裏觸動的 下一首 已經不是我

我努力唱到嘶吼 我不怕剩我一個
只要你能記得 這首歌 給我最 愛的

Rainy seasons

It has been raining for the past few days or maybe weeks. I hate rain. It make me feel sad and depress and I don't know why. Could be I am feeling lonely cos festive seasons are coming soon. 2 more days and I be leaving current company and freelancing outside again. Next week onwards, I be Directing again. Until Mr Woo comes back on 10th Dec.

26 more days to X'mas and I am afraid of been alone.
33 more days to 2008.
I just hate it when I got no one special to spend the seasons with. What's wrong with me? Am I a freak? Am I really that ugly?

What's up

Life is so weak and uncontrollable. My best friend's grandma pass away on 17th, went to the funeral. My heart break when I saw my friend so skinny and weak. I did everything I can to help her, the rest is up to her. The life is her's, how she wants her fate to turn up is up to her.

Then I received news that a colleague's brother pass away on 22nd. It's so sad and depressing. So many people I heard about pass away.

5 more days to my last day with current company, I got to start bring my stuffs home. Next Tue onwards I be directing. Great! I have not read the scripts nor did anything yet.

A short film I am suppose to help up, started filming last weekend. Am suppose to help up lar, but am too busy with my own projects to handle. Moreover, I will have to take the limited rest or off days to really rest and relax at home.

Aching

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nngYqmulLJI
Check up this link, it's Mr Man singing. Hahahaha...

My whole body is aching and in pain from yesterday dance class. All the spinning and turning, leaves my leg with fresh bruises and injuries. This is so different from wushu. In wushu, I only get aching, but pole dancing I get aching, bruises and injuries. Got home late last night, not enough sleep. Now my eyes are red and painful. Have ktv tonight, I just wana go home and sleep. Yawn....

9 more days

9 more days before I move on to a new company. I communicate with the company boss though online and get my job scopes and rates settle down. Right now, I told the company AD to give me the projects updates, so that when I join the company, I know what to do and what to expect.

Be having my dancing class again tonight and then tomorrow night I got ktv with my 小弟，小妹們. Friday will be a day where I need to deliver datelines and chase datelines.

Got to update alot of stuffs in current project before I can move on. Dec and Jan is a period I got to handle 3 projects or maybe 4 projects at the bsame time. Cherlyn, you are behaving like a super woman again. I think I can say good bye to my holiday trips again. Almost 2 years without a proper break.

14 more days

14 more days to my countdown, rest for 2 days before starting at new company. Have been watching the taiwan idol drama, 換換愛 starring 楊丞琳，賀俊翔，王傳一 for the past 3 nights. So tired. Almost can't make it to work the next day. Watched until 4-6am, now my eyes must be like a super panda eye. I like the show alot. 王傳一 is so handsome and charming and so the type that I wish for. Haiz... I can only dream on.

Started my pole dancing class on top of my wushu lessons. My whole body is like breaking apart and aching. I like the pole dance. Maybe I can balance my "manly" and "womanly" hormones. The dance make me feel so sexy, although I got no boyfriend to show to. Hahahaha...

Yan Bin asks me to dance infront of his steamboat shop and attract costumers. He is just so funny. He wanted to watch me perform, so silly.

It's Frieday again, no date, no appointment, no place to go. Guess I will go home and finish up on 換換愛. Then at least next week, I don't have to stay up late to watch.

Bintan / Batam / Genting / Penang / Hong Kong / Taiwan... Where should I go for my holiday? Most likely going alone cos friends should be either not available or too broke to go with me.

I really can't wait for the China project to happen, then I can get out of Singapore.

18 days

18 more days to go before I more on to another company. New colleague... not really consider actually... new working office, new working location and direction to go to, new table, new air, new systems.

I still have not done any overseas project yet. So sad and so sick of myself. New project will be doing wither PM work or Director work. Not even sure how many projects I be taking out for the company also. It all depend on fate and working environment lor.

49 days before 2007 ends and I am still single. Haiz.

Test

Are you a flirt? Natural Flirt
Chatting up men can feel really awkward for some, but for you flirting comes naturally. Your incredible sex appeal and sociable demeanor means that men feel comfortable talking to you, and these are what add to your charm.

When it comes to men you're interested in, you're not afraid to make the first move, but your approach is more friendly rather than sexual.

Coy laughs, head tilts, fun conversations, eye bats – these girly flirting tactics are your signature moves. But your winning trait has to be your intuitive ability to pace your advances, so even though you wish you could lay your paws on that hot guy right now, you know it's way wiser to proceed with light verbal flirting first.

How Romantic Are You? The Steady
When it comes to your love life, you appreciate the romantic gifts: Roses, chocolates and other sweet surprises. But ultimately what touch your heart most are those intangible little gestures of love, like how he pays attention to your wants and needs, really listens to you and is always there to share your joys and tears.

You're down-to-earth, and that's great because you don't expect the impossible from your partner or a fairy-tale relationship. Sure, you're super glad to have found someone to share your life with, but at the same time you need your own space too.

Still, keep feeding your relationship with romance day after day and you can strengthen it even more: Give him a kiss, a cuddle and ask him how he's doing. Indulge in fancy dinner dates and surprise him with a Valentine card every now and then. The more attention you give to your relationship, the closer you'll become.

What's happening

Yesterday night went to watch Bee Movie with Bob, Meihui and Dennis. It's a great movie with great animations and I actually laugh watching cartoon. It's goes to show how nice the movie is.

Tonight be recording VO for a drama then afterwhich eating dinner with the 3 kids in the show and my AD, going to Jackie Chan's new restaurant. Wonder if the food are nice or not. Thought of watching Saw4 after dinner ler.

Tomorrow I be going Singapore Discovery Centre with Kai Li. Finally! I am going finally! Always can't find friends to go with me. Finally Kai Li also wants to go.

The English kids drama episode 2 telecast got problem, got to do changes. Haiz... I really hate post.

By the way, I got exciting new hobby or rather interest that I took up................ I join......................................................................................................... POLE DANCING! My friends and others who know me must be so surpises. I am surprise at myself also lor. 可能时人老了，什么都敢尝试。School called Groove near Outram MRT, rather easy to go. So exciting!

My aim

My aim for this week or rather this month

• Colour hair and re-style
• Buy digital camera
• Sign up for gym / fitness centre
• Get projects stable down for next few months (MICWOO... waiting for you ah!!!)
• Buy new heels
• Fancl shopping AGAIN
• Plan for holiday either for Dec / Jan
• Go for dating services
• Buy new bags
• Watch Saw4
• Get ALL my claims for Mandy before I leave

The AVP just talk to me and told me to stay until Mandy's post are all done. However, I don't have to go office everyday. Need to see my contract and see how many days I should report to office liao.

Horrible start for this week

It's only Wed but had such horrible start for this week that I don't think things will get better for the rest of the days this week.
Came into office on Mon and find out that the weekend raining cos the office to flood, and its AGAIN according to the colleagues. God! Aren't they going to do anything about it? The stupid BIG hole in the ceiling above Sam's desk is so un-stable that I think that it might fall anytime. Due to the super flood, the sponsors items are damaged and then we have to pay. God! All these are un-necessary lor. All those damaged control that I have to do and re-adjusting of budget really kills.
Tue night suppose to dump out Ep1-3 for TX but there is technicial problems (which is un-necessary AGAIN). So have to postphone submissions for 2 days. God! The extra cos for the deck will be in my budget also.
My best friend for 14 years, her grandma has bone cancer. Doctor says she don't have much days to leave, so instead of staying in the hospital and taking in all the gems, might as well stay at home. It's like 等死, same case as my great grandma years back.
I got 30 more days before I leave current company. I really need a new place, new environment, new colleagues, new project. What I really need is a break, a holiday, before I break apart.